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All right for those who don't know now you will.
I suffer from the mental disease called Bipolar. What used to be known as Manic Depressive Disorder which was later researched in time to be what I belive properly classified into specific sections of bipolar disorder.

It makes each day a trial, I go through highs and lows ups and downs and there is no inbetween beyond the feeling of emotionally numb.
I try so hard to be in a good state of mind so that I'm not a downer or bring everyone else down or don't get stuck in a "woe is me" or "I'm pathetic" or worse. Its even more difficult when because of priorities (Which I've set for myself because I place everyone else in front of me because thats part of the issue) that medication isn't affordable at this point in time and my best bet is intensive therapy which I seek and recieve help dealing with problems I feel are too much. Which for some people are for some people aren't that big of an issue.

Thats also part of it, because of this I believe I also have a chemical imbalance where my brain produces too much of certain chemicals which in turn causes me to be stuck in these low emotional states.
(any who have seen my profile and looked at my guilds now know why I'm a member of the mental disease guild. full name is too long to type out.)

So to those out there who feel the need to ridicule me or tell me to snap out of it don't understand what so farking ever. Its not that easy and until you've spent one day in my shoes so to speak I'd refrain from that mindset. The best one can do either help me laugh or at least listen while I try and figure out what the hell to do for the rest of the day.

So yes I DO CARE ABOUT MY FRIENDS I DO, I do care about coming on to gaia but its really difficult to do so when I don't want to do anything all day when thats not who I am at all. So yes any cruel comments will be deleted...