So today guess who had the nerve to call me nasty and move me? Yeah, you guessed it, Greg. All I was doing was sharing some of my cold love and body heat with his head with my body and he gives me the weirdest look while I give him the cutest look but he still moves me away toward his smelly human feet. This brings me to another subject, why can't we live in peace and love... that's because I live you sons of bitches.
After my morning rounds of scratching on the door to have it opened for me for whenever I please I'm finally blessed with the opportunity to meet with my b***h, Buddy. He was, you know, acting the same as usual with his prancing and jumping around as if he was in a state of nirvana or something. Well after a few humps and dominance I calm him down and eat his food. That damned self proclaimed Snake Hunter Amaedus The Cat didn't show up today, I have to settle my score with the jackass ever since I found him snooping around in my territory, I think I even saw that miscreant, Greg, pet her one time.
The humans took extra long to open the door for me despite my whining and clawing at the door, the bastards, so I took revenge by peeing somewhere that they won't know until it's too late *Chuckle*. They also did not place human food into my bowl as I specifically instructed them to do so, Greg probably ate all the food, the b*****d.
Lately I've been noticing less activity in the house, they just seem to sit around and talk and bark at times, it's really annoying. Those bastards gotta just get out and get some fresh air or pee on a fire hydrant. Buuuut ~ them being of the lesser being sort they do nothing but sulk, the bastards. You know what one of them tried to do to me, feed me hot sauce. It's disgraceful really, and retarded too it's not like I can't smell the damned sauce on the blasted piece of chicken. Sometimes I wish I was living with a white family than a Mexican family despite the fact that I would die earlier or get some kind of disease. It says so in the Daily Bone, a personal Dog magazine, that your chance of getting a malicious disease in a white family is higher. I personally think it's because they don't take risks and worry all the goddamn time. Sometimes you gotta wing it and take a piss infront of their eyes to say "Hey you dumbass I'm alive and I'm the ******** king of the world!".
Buster out bitches.
