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Women. That's basically the whole entry. Women are the most confusing, volatile, painfully emotional, and powerful people. Over the year I didn't mess with this I broke a girls heart. Not the normal broken heart mind you. I ******** turned her suicidal and boleimic. Gods I really ******** up with that one. I should have stayed with her because even to this day, I still love her. Nothing can change that. Though lately, I find she sends mixed signals. She tells me she loves her current boyfriend, then that she loves me. Then she says she wants to stay with him, then says she wants me. 'What the ********?' is still just running through my head. So many painful thoughts and lovely ones rush through my mind. Is she stringing me, or him, along? What if she's just going to throw me away when it becomes inconvenient? She loves me! She loves him!

I swear this will drive me mad. She says she loves and hates him. She says she loves me. I don't think she's said she hates me but if she has then my memory is shitty. I'll keep at this until I know for sure but dammit my mind is killing me, my cynicism is attempting to murder me, my love for her burns brihter as my fear of what might happen grows exponentially with each passing day. I must sound delirious by now so I'll end with that for today.