The Beast Within

• Artist: XoOx_Debz_XoOx
• Description: This is a story i've been meaning to write. I've only done a bit, i'll leave u in suspense...
• Date: 07/20/2008
• Tags: horror suspensestory

The Beast Within

Chapter 1
I lay there . . . drenched in blood. On my hands, my face . . . even in my mouth. Speechless, I begin to get up. As I arise, I scanned the cold, isolated room I found myself in. I stopped, dead in my tracks; a shredded lifeless body was before me. I fell to my knees, never once removing my eyes from the body. There seemed to be teeth marks and scratch marks engraved all over the body.
“Di – di - did I . . . do this?” quivering as the words escaped my lips.
I looked at the body, and then looked at my body. I didn’t want to believe that . . . I . . . could have possibly slaughtered this corpse that lay in front of me. But it all added up . . .
“Ugh!!!” I yelped.
I couldn’t stop. The mere thought of me killing another human being . . . it disgusted me to the point of vomiting. Then I collapsed . . .

Chapter 2
Flash . . . flash . . . flash. . . Bright lights passed over my closed eyes. I slowly opened them to find out what was happened.

Comments

[Flirty_Girl2000]

wow ths is great check out my chapters called emotions of the heart!

[hanvel123]

i love all the detail and everything
even though there were some words i didnt understand
but thats ok cuz that means theyre really good words
loL

[Akarui Mizu]

I've only read a couple sentences and it already sounds amazing!

[XoOx_Debz_XoOx]

i've done chapter 2!!! jus so u no (probably noticed) it has very short chapters.

[Julia Dream]

Never put emoticons in your story. Ever. It completely breaks the mood you were setting, even if it is at the end.

[The Sharpie Prototype]

"There seemed to be teeth marks and scratch marks engraved on about over 80% of the body." Not flowing well for me. Maybe get rid of the 80% part. I mean, the character seems quite frazzled at this point so I dont think they can be doing fractions in their head while overcoming the fact of killing ahuman. Maybe just say "most of the body." Other than that, seems good. Want to know what's next!

[kenzie_inlove]

is that all?? did you kill another human???? i want to know!!!!