- One day a omen was passing around town people were dying every second the smell of rotting corpses could have made you want to throw up. Bodys were dumped into the ocean one by one. Family members started to kill eachother amd themselves to prevent and get rid of the omen. The omen would give you a fever and the next day you would have a feeling of churning inside and a few days later you turned itto something that no one could explain. You could not control yourself you would hunger for meat well fresh kill to us living meat.Canabalism could not be stopped day after day the world became darker and darker and as soon as you think it would stop it kept going on and on. Population everywhere was dropping 100,000,000 turned into 10,000 after two weeks and after that 5,000 not many people are alive they are now meateating carniverous scavenger searching for health non infected meat.... THE REST OF THIS I WILL COME UP WITH LATER IT MAY TAKE A WHILE...
- by Keir Yue_blackmoon_ |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 08/08/2008 |
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- Title: ...the world as it ends...
- Artist: Keir Yue_blackmoon_
- Description: WEll you probably have heard of horror and other things scary i mean this is not so scary its just what i dream about....
- Date: 08/08/2008
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Ace Ryn Knight - 08/08/2008
- An omen is not something that can "pass around town"
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- Yugao - 08/08/2008
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I recommend getting someone to proof read your work. There are a lot of errors.
For example, your sentence "You could not control yourself you would hunger for meat well fresh kill to us living meat" needs a lot of punctuation and refining. It should be at least two separate sentences. Maybe more.
It would be nice to see a little more detail or interaction between characters. Maybe you could tell the story of how a few individuals are affected rather than the world as a whole. Good luck! smile - Report As Spam