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There was this day that dark well arrive and no one could do anything.A baby was born and injured.Her mother sent her far far away from Khachaturian before the dark arrived.But it was too late The Dark already got Kassandra's mother but Kassandra stayed.Some how she survived without dieing.
Eighteen years has passed,Kassandra lived with 2 village people Zike and Kienta.They were mean and rude to her no one liked her only Nature was kind and knew how she felt.Other kids thought she was re-tarted but she wasn't she was smarter than all of them its just that they didn't know.Kassandra never had a real friend.
One day when it was her 10 minute break she asked Zike and Kienta if they were her real parents.First they didn't say anything they couldn't tell her if they did she would die.But they told her the truth how she was abandoned from Khachaturian because of the Darkness.It didn't feel right to Kassandra that her mom died to risk her life for hers.But what is done is done nothing can be changed but Kassandra wanted to go back and do something right.Kienta laughed at her,"no one shall ever go back there do you here!NO ONE!If you do you well have no life to spare for........anything".Kassandra yelled back "I'M GOING TO DO WHATS RIGHT I CAN'T BE TREATED SUCH A MULE!" Zike went in the cofersation "let the girl die Kienta she has her choses whether to go back or stay and no one cares any way"."......Fine she can go by tomorrow and that's that!"
Kassandra told the Wisdom tree out in the forest.It told her if she was going to go then she needs the Seed Of Light and eat it,after that she has to remember her past life and expose herself to the dark.....and die."I well do as I've been told"she bowed down and went to Khachaturian.
When she arrived she saw no life just dark and there was a sign saying DON'T PASS THIS TIME LINE OR ELSE YOU WELL DIE.But Kassandra passed and felt a sting in her stomach."I am here and I well face you and my fears!".It was silent then a black mist appeared from the sky.It told her to go or she well have no life.Kassandra did what the Wisdom tree told her,she ate the seed and remembered when her mother got takened away from the dark.Her face grew brighter than anything,then with one second of silents her spirits rose up and shot down to her place that she standed and light went all over the universe and there was no darkness any more.
- by X-Choco-Erika-X |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 09/17/2008 |
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- Title: Darkness
- Artist: X-Choco-Erika-X
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Description:
There was no light but dark
Life changed day by day
No one lived in the town of Khachaturian
Tell Kassandra came and risked her life for the town
She was a hero not a sin.
- Date: 09/17/2008
- Tags: darkness
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Asve - 09/20/2008
- I've also just started to write stories...
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- X-Choco-Erika-X - 09/18/2008
- Well just to tell you people this was my first story and i typed it late and needed to go to sleep so yeah dont complain its just my first
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- D-Russian-D - 09/18/2008
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Its GREAT IT ROCKS!!!
and underlining it makes it better don't listen to those people..
they are just jealous u are so good at making storys - Report As Spam
- ch1ps0h0y - 09/18/2008
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I agree with Annalexxi. Underlining everything in this story makes it hard to read because everything is trying to catch your attention. Don't italicise everything either because...well, in this case, you don't need to.
Also, every time someone different speaks, start a new line. Edit the spacing between sentences. Watch your spelling and maybe add just a tad more description.
One last thing: for small numbers, write them as a word, not as a number. E.g. 10 -> ten. - Report As Spam
- Asve - 09/17/2008
- It's pretty good! Thanks for rating and commenting on mine...
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- Annalexxi - 09/17/2008
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Okay so, first off that was hard as heck to read, next time don't underline everything.
Second, it was okay, but you need to read through your entries a couple times before posting them to make sure you're using the right words. You've used Well for will in there twice. Retarded is one word, without any spacing in it.
You need to work on comma use, read it aloud to yourself and whenever you take a natural pause while reading add a comma. =D - Report As Spam
- X-Choco-Erika-X - 09/17/2008
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Please comment ^ . ^
If you like it or not ^ . ^ - Report As Spam