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i waited for the news.
my sister was in the hospital
after a fight. it is quiet. no one was inside the
room with me. the lights began to flicker on and off.
no one was by the lights. i walked out of the room.
then i saw a shadow walk down the hall.
i chased after it. it slowed down. i chaught up to
it i went right though it. it dissiperied. then somewon
yelled "are you alright?!?" "Yes Just Fine" i spoke.
i see that was a ghost?!?" said the nurse. Yes I said.
we have been getting lots of stories of ghosts.
only one person died in here of a tragic death.
they were in the elevator and there leg got chaught
when the doors closed. the leg ripped off the body.
there was blood everywhere. the stories have been
diffrent with the black shadow. like its been stalking
people late at night. they said it she was a nurse here.
died single all she wanted was a lover. but she never got one.
i feel bad for her soul. Oh I see. i said. i better get back to
my sister. i walked back to the room.
the doctor said to come in. i came in. and noticed the black shoadow
in there! DOCTOR I YELLED! Whats A matter?!?
dont you see the shadow?!? No! it there its getting closer.
is everything alright ?!? do you want me to get you a
theripest?!? the doctor said. No Its okay.
but i think you should know. Ms Please get out!
No! GET OUT NOw! OK! I saw The Nurse again!
I RAn Down The hall nurse.
she stoped. Yes? I saw the shoadow again.
the doctor thought i was crazy And I think...*nurse intrupedts*
only a few people have the power to see it.
oh. i spoke but why me?!? I cried. This is why.
the nurse turned into a shadow and made my mind go
black and faint. i died. A FEW DAYS LATER
her sister was out and walking out she
said where is my sister at?!? she asked the nurse?
Right over here. *smiled* and she fainted and died.
- by funmarkfun |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 10/22/2008 |
- Skip
Comments (5 Comments)
- deadfaery - 10/29/2009
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Learn to grammar! People will rate you better if you have correct spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. Having someone proofread your work (after you go over it yourself) can help with that if you really need it.
Throughout the whole thing it's very unclear who's doing what and who's saying what. Pay attention to those things. Aside from all that, it still doesn't seem well put together or thought out. - Report As Spam
- Scarlett Shizzle - 07/03/2009
- ..............
- Report As Spam
- alittlelamb13 - 05/29/2009
- umm not good grammar and confusing!
- Report As Spam
- Nerai Kentouken - 10/23/2008
- Bwuh? Blarg? that is confusing!
- Report As Spam
- rag21181071358116 - 10/22/2008
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im sorry but its not very good
=(
2/5 - Report As Spam