• Hugging him. I was hugging him.

    I had dreamed of this moment for a long time, only it wasn’t what I’d expected, or even wanted. In some ways it was better.

    It was the last day of school. The last bell had just rung, and I pushed my way out of the gym as fast as possible. I was a senior! And school was done. I couldn’t stop smiling.

    I had to wait a while for the bus to come, so my friends and I walked back towards the lockers so we could clean ours out. He was there. Even from a distance he stood out from his friends. He saw me coming. I smiled and shouted “We’re seniors!” and he just grinned back.

    And then I hugged him. I hadn’t dared touch him all year, even though he was always giving me these corny high-fives and light punches on the shoulder.

    The hug didn’t last very long, and I don’t remember very much except the feel of his firm body against mine and his arms around me. And his smell. Clean. Like soap. I remember feeling like I was melting. Into him. And then I pulled away slightly, knowing that the hug had lasted a moment longer than was necessary. Only he didn’t let go, and he held me tighter for only a moment until I managed to gently pull away. He gave an awkward laugh, like he was embarrassed, and I felt a swooping feeling in my stomach as I grinned at him. Waved goodbye. Hurried away.

    I almost ran into the pole that separated the two doors that gave entry into the hallway. Dora gave me a knowing smile and I laughed it off nervously.

    Later I heard my name called as I looked for Lizzie. I turned, and he was there. He wanted another hug. I rolled my eyes and gave him an awkward, one-armed hug. It wasn’t the same. And it would never be. For that one moment, the first time I hugged him, he was mine. And I was his. Those dark eyes belonged to me. But I knew they weren’t for sale. They were hers, and as I hugged him a second time, I knew where his loyalties lied. He and her. She and him. I gave him a sad smile. And his grin. His mouth that could not be claimed, would never be mine.

    At least for now.

    I could see the look of longing in his eyes. I would not give in. Those eyes would come to me, and this time they wouldn’t let me go.