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It's 5:30 in the afternoon. I glanced down my wrist, staring at my watch anxiously.
It's time to go.
I started to pace, heading on my way to a familiar place, somewhere I haven't gone to for quite a long time. I felt uneasy each time I take a step closer, as if my heart is being crushed into pieces.
I felt like being haunted of memories long gone by and now it reminds me of my life's greatest oblivion. I found myself under a huge old tree, staring into nothingness as tears uncontrollably welled up my eyes. I sat on the damp ground, tightly hugging my knees as if somewhat holding my pieces together, to spare myself from the threat of breaking down.
I remember everything about that place - that place, where my closest friend and I used to hang out after a heavy day's paper works from school, the place where we usually spend the rest of the day until we finally brace ourselves for the dusk.
The place was calm and peaceful, where the picturesque scenery of the horizon kissing the crimson sky could be viewed from afar. In such ways, the scene caused me immense bewilderment and made me adore the majestic power of love in uniting worlds of differences and its great ability of healing the wounds it also inflicted itself.
I was there, reminiscing each moment we've spent together and making use of the time before it completely slipped away from my weakening grip. Hours to go and I'll finally set her precious heart free. The day I dreaded the most has come, leaving me with no choice but to let go. This will be the hardest decision I'll ever have to deal with in my entire life, which even took me years to finally make up my mind.
I was there with no one but my lost shadow sitting right next to me while waiting for the setting of my sun, and expecting my nights to be in total darkness.
It was late in the afternoon and I'm utterly alone.
My heart just keeps on wondering what it could be or might have been now if only love didn't come between us and built a wall that separated us for many years. The more I pursue my desires and fight for what i feel, the more it kills me and the more I die.
I spent years of yearning for her love and patiently waiting for her return, only to end up disappointed and broken. Life is really that cruel for refusing to give me even the slightest chance until such time that I grew tired of relying on false hopes and uncertain expectations. I realized that some things are just bound to end even though how good they seem to be.
I chose to let go and just leave our memories far behind my past, for everything's over and done and must be forgotten. I decided to move on and start a new life all over again - a life without her. I cried bitterly, considering that it would be my last.
My mournful sob shattered the stillness of the place. I felt incomplete and empty. I'm on that tree where I used to sit with the most important person in my life, the same tree which had witnessed both of us grow and dream together. And here I am now, crying my heart out and could hardly bear the pain of being alone anymore. Although very much hurt, I had somehow managed to control my emotions and tried to welcome the agonizing reality.
I am moving on.
The sun was already nowhere at my sight and the darkness - couldn't be quite sure if it had came from my inside - spread all over the place as night time gobbles up even the slightest remaining light. My shadow was gone too, and now I have to walk home all alone again. The vast sky threatens to bring a raging storm and I started bounding home before the darkness finally takes over me. But before I went on my way, I stared at the place for the last second, as if trying to bid goodbye, knowing it would be the last time I'll ever see it.
I'm gonna miss this place, I said to myself. I know I would.
I took a deep breath and turned back to start walking home. I was about to take my first footfall away from my past when I saw a figure I immediately recognized, not that far from where I stood. I froze at that moment, couldn't believe my eyes.
It was her. I know it was her.
She was sitting on a nearby bench, her face buried in her hands, crying. She gazed up at my direction, her face painted with definite confusion, which, taking about a couple of heartbeats, slowly turned into a look of overjoyed recognition. She abruptly stood and came up to me, crying even harder.
I was stunned, barely knowing what to do.
I was just ready to go on with my life, to leave everything behind - everything, including her - and then poof! Coming out of only God knows where, she suddenly showed up.
I tried to think of something I could say to console her, struggling and searching for the right words but had failed to come up with the appropriate ones.
"What's wrong?" I found myself asking even though part of me already knew the answer. She hugged me, the way she'd always do when she felt like falling apart.
"He...he's gone," she said as she burst out to tears even more.
I knew it. I felt pain crippling all over my body but that didn't stop me from hugging her back. All I knew that very moment was I'm happy to see her so much and I can't help but cry with her, too.
She told me everything that had happened for the last three years after we had gone our separate ways. She poured out all the pain she's enduring and had failed to stop crying. I don't know how to respond to her repeated sentiments and all I could do was to stare at her angelic face - hadn't changed much after all these years, still beautiful and peaceful even when crying.
"Everybody left me," her voice raised a pitch, interrupting my trail of thoughts. "Things are moving on and I'm being left behind," she continued, still sobbing. "I still love him."
I know she needed to hear something from me, and she eagerly waited for me to say it right away. She looked deep into my eyes, as if somewhat struggling to see more behind them, wanting me to say a word. I tried to avoid her gaze, feeling so guilty and intending not to let her see my pain. I looked down, trying all my might to control the dripping of my tears.
I'll always be here for you. And when everything feels like moving on, don't worry, I won't for you, I said to myself.
"I don't want to let go. I just can't," she gave out an impatient cry, desperately longing for comfort.
I finally gained the strength to look deep into her teary eyes and said, "Me neither."
Her eyebrows crossed in confusion, and perhaps in disappointment for not hearing what she had been expecting me to say. But before she could even ask or utter anything, I locked her tightly in my arms and whispered, "I've missed you."
I found myself wishing that she knew what I feel for her, that I had loved her from the very start, that what I could offer her was way beyond friendship itself. But the way she held onto me, the way she hugged me back somehow relieved me knowing that she didn't, that she's ignorant of everything, didn't had even a slightest idea how I suffered and endured from her three-year absence.
The dark clouds gathered and the rain started to pour down heavily. I could consider the darkness of the night and the cold downpour of rain as my advantage, for having these around gave her no idea of my crying. The raging drops seemed to be melting the barrier, the wall that had been built through distance and time, the same wall that separated us for years, was being crushed down and making it possible for me to have her that close. Having her in my arms, I know that our long lost friendship was found.
Looking back from the yesteryears, I realized how love had ruined our genuine closeness and how it also found its way to restore the precious bond it destroyed, to put up the shattered pieces of our friendship back together. There we are, hanging onto each other for the last hope of our survival through cold dark nights like this.
Three years of bitterness had passed and our friendship stayed in silence. But still, it had overcome the bitterness and pain that life has thrown to us. In spite of those unspoken years, she may not say it but I know she needs me and our friendship back, and wants nothing more than that. I saw it in her eyes, and I could feel the warmth of our bond that's now coming back to life.
"I've missed you, too," she whispered.#
![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: Forlorn Sunset
- Artist: teljet
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Description:
This was the very first story i had written, way back when i was a high school junior stud.
i really don't have that much confidence with regards to how people appreciate my write-ups, but i do hope you'll be honest enough to critic my work.
thank you :]
*by the way, my story is viewed from a male's eyes. just so you won't get confused. enjoy. - Date: 11/30/2008
- Tags: forlorn sunset
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Comments (5 Comments)
- Princess Ballet Tutu - 01/05/2009
- Such a beautiful story, i love all the little details! 5/5
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- XxYuko_chanxX - 12/21/2008
- mmmhm
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- Soldier In Mind - 12/06/2008
- Wow... Amazing story ^^ 5/5!!
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- Yuubi-san - 12/03/2008
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very nice jet..!!
it seems familiar but i like the twist at the end of the story..!!
5/5..!! - Report As Spam
- INicoI - 12/02/2008
- wow! very nice story...i think anyone can relate to it... 5/5 ^_~*
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