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All my life I thought my mother died in a car accident. All my life I thought the person who raised me, sent me to an orphanage because he was bankrupt, and didn’t want me to live this poorly, was my father. But the truth was my mother was living, somewhere, and my father was away, in hiding. I ran my hand across the metal box, the last possession my father gave me before sending me off to Mr. Dergenforth. Mr. Dergenforth didn’t give me the box until he told me who he really was. When he came to the orphanage and told me my whole life was a lie, all the missing areas in the puzzle of my life was put together. I wasn’t Danielle Dergenforth. I was Danielle Meragath.
I still hadn’t opened the box yet, too afraid to what it may contain. I heard the loud bell ring, signaling all the other orphanage children to come back inside from free time. The doors banged; the children, who lived here, had no manners. I was slightly disgusted at meal time; all the children would stuff their faces, full of peas, mashed potatoes, and macaroni. I probably was the only neat one there, laying my napkin on my lap and asking for the correct fork or spoon when they gave me the wrong one. More doors banged, they were getting closer. I quickly hid the metal box in one of the 3 draws I owned, hiding it between the ratty clothes I had.
The door flung open, Adelle, Janelle, and Anailiah entered the room. Their cheeks were flushed; they were probably running around outside.
“It’s freezing outside!” Adelle complained, plopping herself on her bed.
“I thought it was beautiful... I love when it snows” Anailiah said grinning.
“Danielle you should have come with us! I mean we had a snowball fight... and everything. It was so much fun.” Janelle said.
I shook my head. They were my best friends; we were friends since I started to live here. The twins, Janelle and Adelle always sided together. They lived here together their whole lives, and when someone tried to adopt one of them the other refused.
Anailiah on the other hand, didn’t live here for so long. Her parents died in a fatal car accident, and she was the survivor. The accident was in the newspaper for months. She lived here now, and spoke little of her family. Her scar was her only reminder; it came from the side of her forehead to her chin. Her pale skin and blond hair, made it hard to notice at first sight.
“You always skip free time though! What keeps you here?” Janelle’s eyes scanned over the dresser.
“No reason. I just don’t want to go, that’s all.” I could tell by their blank faces that they didn’t believe me at all. I was a horrible liar.
“Danielle, what’s wrong? After your dad came over you haven’t been the same” Anailiah said.
Every time they went to this topic I ignored them and changed the topic. But I knew; that they would not ignore my attempt to sway their minds to something else.
Shaking my head I told them why my so called ‘father’ came over. They listened silently, Anailiah with tears in her eyes. The most sensitive one of them all, I should have expected her to cry. Surprised as I was, I was even more surprised when I blurted out the possession left in my care.
Janelle, the nosey person she was, darted passed me pulling clothes out the way to the metal box. She lifted it out, putting it on my bed. Before I could stop her she lifted the top off the box.
- Title: Danielle
- Artist: samikaytl
- Description: Just the beginning of a story im thinking of. i cant figure out what will happen next im stuck >.>
- Date: 12/30/2008
- Tags: danielle metalbox
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Fantastic Nightmares - 04/24/2009
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C'mon... keep it coming... WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!
I want to know what's in the box... I'm so damn curious... - Report As Spam
- I Am Just Kit - 03/30/2009
- I really like the beginning. The first sentence draws you straight into the story without hesitation, which is something that many writers struggle with. You did a good job all around. I can't wait to see what will happen next.
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- I Am Just Kit - 03/30/2009
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It's not a bad start. I think it's lacking some details, though. For instance, why was Danielle's first reaction to lie about not going outside, especially when she was going to give in so easily and answer? Also, what was it about Anailiah's car accident that put it into the news for so long?
I also have a slight problem with the names-- they're all very similar: Danielle, Janelle, and Adelle. Also, I'm not sure how to pronounce Anailiah, but in type, it also looks similar to these names. - Report As Spam
- mysticrydder - 03/29/2009
- the box could hold a letter explaining everything or her moms locket with some of her hair. something like that. the rest of the story could be about finding her parents with her best friends.
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- FuriazFTW - 03/16/2009
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Gripping!
I can't wait to read more. However, this literary quality of this piece was... average. Try using more description! Touch, taste, smell! Sight is only one of our senses. 3/5. - Report As Spam
- Lolvy - 03/09/2009
- Oops, lol meant loving the style! xD Typos hate me biggrin
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- Lolvy - 03/09/2009
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Already grippin xD Losing the style!
Hope you right more soon - when i'm stuck i start writing anyway, and soon teh next sentence comes into my head, then the next while im writing etc biggrin
Write more!! xD - Report As Spam