• “How do you think it works?”

    “Well, uh, just press the button, I suppose…”

    Frank’s voice drifted off, his hesitance unsettling. Gabe bit his lip, regarding Frank with a tentative look. The whole thing was simply bizarre; a silver, bullet-shaped capsule comes crashing down, interrupting their Sunday afternoon tea, doesn’t even come with any sort of note or explanation, and, not to mention, it leaves a gaping, charred crater in Gabe’s lush yard. His wife was going to kill him.

    “You don’t suppose it’ll, y’know, blow up or anything, do you?”

    Frank gently tapped the capsule with his cane and paused.

    “No, I don’t suppose it will explode.”

    But Frank’s words didn’t sound any surer than Gabe was. He glanced at the sleek arrival once again. Perfectly smooth, neon green tail wings, and one large red button screaming to be pushed. He didn’t know what to make of it. With all the trouble Russia was creating in Georgia lately, Gabe could only take a wild guess that this was some missile prototype, yet there was something about the capsule that seemed unearthly. The design was too flawless to be made by humans.

    “Go for it,” Frank dared.

    Gabe stood still for a moment, weighing the options. Dying didn’t sound so bad right now, if the capsule’s fate was, in fact, to explode; all his kids were already grown and married, his wife was going senile, he was developing arthritis, and really the only thing left living for were the grandchildren. But at the same time it seemed a little early to go. He could make it for another decade or two, right? Gabe drew in a breath, his courage tagging along as well. If he didn’t try it now, he could end up regretting it the rest of his life.

    The button clicked softly as Gabe gently pushed it in, his mouth pulled back in a grimace. There was a moment of apprehensive silence as Frank and Gabe stared anxiously at the capsule. Then, a quiet hiss emitted from the capsule as it somehow stood itself upright and an outline of a small door appeared in the surface. A silver panel smoothly slid aside, revealing a small, clean, hallowed-out chamber—clean, of course, except for the sheet of soil blanketing the bottom. The capsule quieted and Gabe’s hand instinctively crept into the chamber, his wrinkling fingers combing through the dark, moist soil. Gabe was an aging British chap who gardened in his spare time (which he had a lot of lately)—who better to know good soil than he?

    “Very peculiar,” he whispered.

    “Very peculiar, indeed,” Frank echoed, his face crumpled in bewilderment. He also reached in and ran the exceptional soil through his fingers. It smelled positively splendid too, at least to men with a passion for dirt.

    “I dare say it’s normal enough,” declared Frank, whacking his cane against the side of the capsule decidedly. “Let’s use it.”

    “Use it?” Gabe asked.

    “Why yes. Let’s experiment. Do you have any beans left over?”

    “Er, well yes, just some kidney beans…”

    “Well off you go, good man! Fetch them!” Frank exclaimed with a wave of his cane. Gabe returned a moment later, his shaky hands fumbling with a package of seeds.

    “Don’t know where we’ll plant them,” Gabe muttered, “garden’s all full…”

    “Nonsense!” Frank snatched the seeds out of Gabe’s hands. “We’ll plant them right in here!”

    “Frank, they won’t get any sun.”

    “I know that, but this thing isn’t from this world so why should it follow our natural laws?”

    “Well I suppose that’s one way of thinking, but—”

    “But nothing. I want to try this. Besides, look.” Frank’s cane pointed inside the chamber where Gabe noticed for the first time a green square button sitting casually in the back. It was straightforward enough—just a simple, white outline of a budding plant.

    “How odd,” Gabe remarked.

    “Quite,” Frank replied. He set a seed in with his coarse thumb and gently folded the soil over. He pressed the green button slowly and deliberately and the silver panel slid shut. The capsule hummed softly and the two men watched in silence, wondering what exactly was going on inside that chamber. It didn’t leave them too much time to think as it pinged mere seconds later, the panel slowly gliding open once more. A light from within faded and a thin smoke eased out, revealing a fully grown kidney bean plant. Or was it? Certainly going in it was a kidney bean, but now it was something completely different: the stems were long and curled, the square leaves a bright lime with thin, purple geometric designs, the numerous pods incandescent and iridescent. It was the strangest looking plant Gabe had ever seen. He plucked a pod off and squeezed it open and the most unusual bean appeared. Although it retained the typical bean shape, the color was all wrong: neon yellow.

    “I say...” began Gabe, perplexity in his voice, and without another thought, he tossed the bean straight into his mouth, chewing slowly. The act caught Frank off guard; usually Frank was the more adventurous of the two. Gabe swallowed with a loud gulp, his eyes dashing to and fro while he contemplated. Suddenly Gabe’s arm shot into the air and he waved his hand around like a madman, his fingers flexing and stretching, and his wrist twisting this way and that.

    “What on earth are you doing?” Frank demanded.

    “The bean, Frank!” Gabe shouted, his usually dull, aging face positively glowing. “My arthritis! The pain is gone!”

    Frank blinked and stared for a still moment, and then in one swift movement shoved the bean into his mouth, not caring whether or not it was perhaps the toxicity getting to Gabe’s head. Instantly upon swallowing, he felt renewed. Frank dropped his cane and took a step.

    “My knee!”

    Another step and then another; Frank was jogging around in circles now.

    “We’re healed!” they shouted in unison, silly grins plastered across their wrinkles.

    “Yes, but what do we do now?” Gabe asked. Frank paused.

    “Well,” he began slowly, “there’s always eBay…”

    And then the idea came. “I know just what to do,” Gabe claimed. He dashed inside and returned a second later, dialing numbers on the phone in his healed hands.

    “Yes, hello? Yes, this is Happy Chap’s Home for the Elderly, is it not…?”