The Fallen Black Rose

• Artist: EmoLove2112
• Description: Just a random preview for a story about vampires and black roses.
• Date: 02/14/2009
• Tags: fallen black rose

Chapter One
The Change

Hello.I was a normal school girl but one day that changed.I had just gotten out of school but it was already dark.The clouds above were just inky and dark.I shivered.My house was not far from the school but to get there I had to go through a cemetary.You know those stories where a girl is walking home from somewhere and she goes through a cemetary?This is like that.But anyway. was walking through the cemetary then thre sky lights up and the next thing I know I'm on my back.The last thing I see is a dark handsome mysterious guy above me.Then it all went black.

Comments

[SlyKitten14]

There's a fiew punctuation errors, mostly you need to add commas instead of periods. Otherwise it's prety good.

[Faldaga]

The idea is there but you might want to work on fluidity of thought and coherency. Other than that, hope to see elaboration on this idea. 3/5