• After all my years of living, I was part of the crowd. Another person to add onto the immense population already being distributed across the globe. Another useless, insignificant human being, who's only purpose in life was striving to survive. That could be my description of life right there. A survival game, just living to...stay alive.

    If you think about it, it's true. From the moment you open your eyes when you enter the world, your playing a wild game of survival, with no rules or restrictions. You don't know why you're playing it. You just are.

    My pessimistic outlook of life didn't cease to stop. I always had my hands buried in my pockets, my head drooped down, only occassionally glancing at people with a dark look as they said "hi" to me with their cheery attitudes. It didn't stop. It wouldn't stop. Except, that's only how I felt until I met the one girl...

    It wasn't an abrupt relationship. In fact, it was a relationship 5 years in the making, from that fateful day in 3rd grade. She was a new kid, and always seemed to have a cheery word to say, or a funny joke to crack. She was pretty, with slightly wavy brunnette hair perfectly dangling down from her shoulders, and the most untainted face with beautiful sparkling blue eyes. She was the most outgoing person I'd ever seen.

    That's why I despised her.

    She was instantly revered and adored by other 3rd graders, as well as other younger kids. It was that sort of attitude, that sort of attention I loathed so much, though I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she could be happy and content with life, while I could not. Maybe it was jealousy.

    But nevertheless, I always made sure to snarl every time she walked by and waved at me along with a polite hi and a charming little angel smile. It felt so good to put down the most popular kid in school, and it felt as though things would never change; that I would always feeling a burning feeling against her in a consistant pattern. This was how I was playing my game of life, I had thought. I don't care how they play theirs.

    And so, this passionate, raging feeling against my ultimate enemy of life continued to prosper and grow, until it all started to slowly change, starting on that monumental day for me, that day of March 17, 2006.