• WONDERTimes


    Breaking news across Wonderland and we at Wonder Times are the first with the story!

    Here in Wonderland, this very morning, a human named Alice followed our friendly local White Rabbit, while he was running an errand for the Red Queen, down his hole and into our great kingdom. While Alice was following the White Rabbit, she lost his trail and stumbled across the Mad Hatter and one of his famous tea parties. At first Alice refused the Hatter’s invitation to tea, however, it seems our Hatter took a liking to Alice and insisted she join him.

    When this reporter asked what made him insist, the Hatter blushed and promptly pulled his hat lower to cover his face as he replied, “I thought she was quite cute.” At the tea party, the Hatter promptly sat Alice down into the seat next to him, but as she tried to continuously move one seat away, the Hatter would follow, asking her all the while why she wanted to follow the rabbit. Alice protested the Hatter’s advances and refused to answer his questions. Eventually she up and left the tea party, attempting to leave the poor Hatter behind.

    However, the Hatter promptly followed after Alice as she left. We also have it on good authority that Alice next encountered the Cheshire Cat. While trying to discover the location of the White Rabbit from the Cheshire Cat, Alice became quite annoyed with the Cat’s vagueness.

    When asked about her reluctance to divulge the information, the Cheshire Cat replied, “I didn’t like the look of her. She came and disrupted the lives of regular citizens and planted ideas in my toy’s head.” The toy, to whom the Cat mentioned, would be our dear Mad Hatter who seemed quite smitten by the new arrival. “When a toy becomes enamored with another, they begin to lose their loyalty and devotion to their master. I was not about to lose one of my favorite toys.” She said.

    In order to deal with the issue, the Cheshire Cat sent Alice in the direction of the Red Queen’s palace. Shortly after Alice’s departure, the Mad Hatter found the cat and asked for the direction where Alice had gone. Instead of giving it, the Cheshire Cat confronted the Hatter and advised him not to chase after the girl. She said that she would only bring harm to him and he could possibly lose his prestige and position as a respectable individual in the kingdom. The Hatter chose to ignore the Cat’s warnings and went in the direction of the Caterpillar. Once with the Caterpillar, the Hatter sat on a mushroom and visited with him. The Caterpillar smoked from his hookah and the Hatter drank his tea, while discussing their romantic problems with one another.

    After the Hatter had departed, the Cheshire Cat was spotted at the Palace. It is a well known fact that she and the Red Queen are old friends. Some go so far as to say that the Queen consults the Cheshire Cat for many issues of state and that the Cat is often used as a spy. For more on conspiracy theories, see page 6.

    According to the Ace of Clubs, the Cheshire Cat requested that the Queen send Alice out of Wonderland. “She said it was important that Alice and her toy be separated. The Queen has always been more than supportive of the Cheshire Cat’s interest in keeping toys and was in fact the one that gave the Mad Hatter to the Cheshire Cat.” Said the Ace.

    When asked why the Queen would give the Mad Hatter to the Cheshire Cat, he replied, “Her Majesty is very fond of the Cheshire Cat and vice versa, the Cat showed an interest in the Mad Hatter because of his fine teas and cakes. Most don’t know that the Cheshire Cat has a large sweet tooth. By having the Mad Hatter as a toy, the Cheshire Cat gets all the sweets and teas she likes.”
    For rest of story continue to Page 2