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This is a story bout a boy named John, his life is filled with alot of tradgedy and bad luck. He is 16 and just finishing up his sophmore year (10th grade) at Melbourne High (in Florida) and it is the last day of school before summer break. This is where our story begins.
"So what are you doing over summer break John?" asked his best friend Jordan right after the lunch bell rang.
"I don't really know, I might try and get my parents to let me go to some kind of teenage summer camp or something."
"you wanna know what I'm doing?" by this time they are waiting in line for their lunch.
"not really but I guess I can't stop you from telling me." John said jokingly.
"Your right, I'm going to the bahamas for 3 weeks and then going to busch gardens with our year round passess!!"said Jordan.
"WOW!!!! that's awesome man, I wish that I could come!!!!"
"Maybe you can, I'll tell ya what, I'll ask my parents if you can come if you pay for your airline ticket."
"Awesome thanks!! I'll be sure to ask them."
That is how most of John's last day of school was. When he got home, his parents found out that he passed with all A's and that he was the highest scoring student in his class. While they were still celebrating, John decided to ask if they would let him go with Jordan to the Bahamas. He told them that he could pay for his own airline ticket and year pass. "Are you sure you want to spend all of your money on that John?" his mother asked him.
"Yeah I'm sure." replied John. Later that night, he called Jordan and told him that he would be able to come. they decided to meet at Jordan's house at 9:00 and Jordan's parents would take him to the Orlando international airport. The plne didn't leave until 12:00 so they decided to eat at the 5 n diner which is a little restaurant where people get to choose the music so it's kinda cool. As they finally get in the plane, John said to Jordan. "Have you seen that movie called, Snakes on a Plane?"
"Yes and FYI I hate snakes, because of that movie, I'm afraid of snakes."
" Do you think there are any snakes on THIS plane??" joked John.
"Stop, your freaking me out John!" When they reached the Bahamas, thefirst thing that they did was check in to the hotel and then barely 7 minutes after they reached the rooms, the boys were on the beach and in the water before Joordan's parents could even choose the spot to put their towels, shoes, Etc.. After that day, the boys were too sunburnt to go back out on the beach so they just stayed at the hotel room all day and watched tv. after the 2nd day they ere able to go back out and this time they decided to put sunscreen on. Those three weeks passed so fast that they couldn't believe tht the trip was over so fast. when they got back to Jordan's house, John said." do you guys mind if I walk home to see my parents and tell them were back from the Bahamas?"
"No we don't mind."said Jordan's father. As he was walking to his house, John smelled smoke but he didn't worry about it. as he got closer to his house, he began to see smoke in the direction of his house, after that, he started to worry a little bit. When he was a few blocks away, he could hear sirens, when he heard this, he began to sprint toward his house. When he saw his house, he was devastated. eek
To Be Continued..........
- Title: The Orphan (Intro)
- Artist: Bilucco
- Description: This is my first time trying to submit any type of writing on gaia so if you have any pointers or anything, feel free to tell me..... anyway I wrote this a loooooooooooooong time ago and just thought of it now...
- Date: 04/16/2009
- Tags: orphan military john
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Comments (5 Comments)
- this username is invalid - 07/02/2010
- Alright. It does seem a little rushed. When they're in the Bahamas, consider that maybe all those minor details are a little unnecessary, ex. they got sunburnt, watched TV, and then decided to use sun screen. Unless they really impact the story, then just forget about it. If you don't want to completely eliminate those ideas, then build on to them. But over all, really good job.
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- sizzlingdiva - 08/27/2009
- i this story is really engaging to read. it's awesome
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- Thanatos Dark - 05/26/2009
- Wow, I enjoyed the story. I wanna know what happens to this kid!
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- Bilucco - 04/25/2009
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kk thanks
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- r a i n bow c i t y - 04/21/2009
- I don't like seeing sad stories. And were you hurrying? Because you have a few typos and you did TV as tv. Please try to be careful.
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