- Mommy!Mommy!can I open my present."Fine it is your fourth birthday"sudenlly the father came in the room and killed the mom blood everywhere.I midnight was lost walking in the snow body completely numb.But someone saved me.
- by wintericegirl |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 05/30/2009 |
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- Title: a snowy say
- Artist: wintericegirl
- Description: the start of Midnight Comachi
- Date: 05/30/2009
- Tags: snowy
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Saraez - 06/06/2009
- Let's see... the grammar and spelling is very poor. Try running it through a spell check next time. It's really short and rushed. You should be more descriptive too. It's also difficult to tell what's going on. One second it's third person 'the mother died' and the next it's suddenly somebody in the snow. It's also not very interesting.
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- Inwolves - 05/31/2009
- cool i love the killing words it reminds me of my entry.
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