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It's a beautiful sunny day. The sky is bright blue and the breeze is refreshing and cool, keeping the sun from being too hot. The paved road stretches out in front of us and the ocean is on one side and rolling hills on the other. We're driving with the windows down and the radio is up loud enough to hear, but soft enough to still be able to think. I stare listlessly out the window, chin leaning on my arms and my hair whipping around in the wind. Even though it is sunny outside and everything is beautiful, my heart is heavy and it keeps me from completely enjoying the weather. I glance over at the driver who doesn't look at me, but keeps his focus on the road, singing softly to Superchick. I turn away.
Periodically, I do this till finally I roll my window up. The driver turns his head for a moment to look at me, and then looks back at the road. I turn the music down and ask for him to pull over. Quizzically he looks at me, notices my stubborn look, and pulls over. I get out and slam the door and start walking in quick long strides away from the car. He jumps out and calls to me asking me what I'm doing. I yell back telling him that I won't get back in the car cuz then I'll just yell at him, so he runs and catches me and puts himself in my way. I try to shoulder past him, but he just manages to keep himself in front of me. Noticing that I will keep persisting on getting past him, he grabs my arms, hard enough to keep me in place, but not hard enough to hurt me.
"What is going on? Spit it out" he orders in his deep voice. I'm not scared, I'm angry. "This is what it takes for you to ask me what is going on?!" I ask incredulously. "Why does it always comes to this? Why can't you just ask me straight out the moment you see something's wrong? Why do you wait til I'm mad at you and walking away?!" I try to pull out of his grip but he just holds on tighter, not allowing me to move. "Will ya let go already?" I exclaim. "I want to walk, and I don't want to be with you right now. It hurts being with you, because I know in my head that you care, but you refuse to show it in a way I can tangibly grasp, so let go already!" I pull away and nearly escape when he grabs me again and pulls me into a hug. I struggle uselessly for a moment before giving up.
My eyes fill with tears and I struggle to hold back the sob in the back of my throat. "I'm sorry, deer, I'm still learning, and I don't always know if I should say something or not." A strangled chuckle comes from my throat as he calls me deer and I quietly reply "I know" before burying my face in his shirt. When I finally stop crying and we get back in the car and start driving again, I still feel a little melancholy. I don't like this pattern that keeps reoccurring. I know that it's a growing process, and we're both still learning to communicate openly, but I see that it really doesn't have to be this hard. So silently I pray that he'll figure out that I want him to just ask. It doesn't mean I'll talk, but at least I'll know he saw it, and acknowledged the side of me that is broken, and I will in turn open up and be honest with him. So, I'm praying, please, just ask.
![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: Just Ask
- Artist: Sylve
- Description: I wrote this in reference to my best friend and I who are struggling with communicating. I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Please read and enjoy and please comment. Thanks.
- Date: 07/06/2009
- Tags: friendship communcation
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Comments (4 Comments)
- Sylve - 07/30/2009
- i actually write a lot, i just dont post alot....and ive only been on Gaia for a little bit.
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- aya Fujimiya_Omi Takatori - 07/28/2009
- hmh that was awesome, i'm glad you write, but you should really write more. 5/5
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- Sylve - 07/10/2009
- yeah, slowly. smile I'm glad you liked it.
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- Angel1412kaitou - 07/10/2009
- Awww...This is a sad story, but you guys must be getting better. smile
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