• As Marie Leigh Harper woke up on Thursday morning, she grabbed a jar of pickled cucumbers and slipped on her slippers. Then she got up off the floor and put them on. As she walked out of her Eskimo hut in the city of Rain Valley, New Mexico, she saw a rare species of butterfly, forgetting today was a work day. She ran after the butterfly, and as she reached out to catch it, she hiccupped. “Dang,” she said. “ I hate having Chronic Hiccups. They can just (Hiccup) spoil a perfect catch, or should I say, near catch.” This was when she realized that it was Thursday and she had to go to work. She ran as fast as she could towards the hospital, being sure to hold tightly to her jar of pickled cucumbers. She was so worried that she was going to be late, she started to bite her tongue. She had been at it for at least five minutes before she realized that she was bleeding, again. “I always end up b-(Hiccup)-leeding. Why do I do this? I don’t know why. I can’t stop,” she exclaimed as she reached the children’s ward in the hospital. Entering the ward, she slipped off her slippers, and slid on her electric lime green work shoes. She entered a special area that said no admittance. This was where she worked. She said good morning to Elizabeth Ann Flowers, her most agreeable attendant. She checked in on Becky Sue, her first test subject. Becky Sue was 14, exactly 15 years younger than Marie Leigh Harper.
    “Is it time for a story yet Becky,” Marie asked of the girl. “I ca (Hiccup) n’t wait to hear all about Clifford. He’s my favorite, did you know that?”
    “Yes, Marie. I knew that. The shaman of our village is coming out for story time today, just so you can hear his newest version of Clifford. Oh, and one question. Why were you so late today?”
    Marie simply waved her hand and continued further into the ward.
    “Miss Harper. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Josie isn’t behaving and she won’t listen to anything I tell her. What kind of change do you want me to make?” asked a young attendant.
    “Let me (Hiccup) talk with her and see if I can find a way to fix this. You d-(Hiccup)-o know that the best way to fix a problem is to find what’s causing it. Good night Miss E-(Hiccup)-liza. I’ll see you in the morning.”
    After this odd exchange, Marie Leigh Harper decided it was time for lunch. She headed home without informing Elizabeth Ann Flowers. As she wandered past the theatre, she saw a preview for Alvin and the Chipmunks. She had wanted to see this since before the making of the movie. She had to stop and see it. About 3 minutes after she sat down, a couple behind her said in barely controlled voices, “Excuse us, but we can’t see. All your hair is hanging over the edge of the seat. Could you please move it? Like now.”
    She slowly turned to face them. This is when they saw her eyes. They were the brightest, most strangest color of eyes they had ever seen. They were deep green, but at the same time seemed to be a brilliant blue. It was an unsettling combination. “I’m (Hiccup) very sorry. What did you say?”
    “Nothing Ma’am. We’re real sorry to bother you during the movie.” They got up and fled the theatre. She shrugged this odd encounter off as a slip up of the senses.
    “Don’t do that to me,” she told them (referring to her sensory neurons). “you (Hiccup) could get me in trouble doing that.” After the movie was over, she headed home, realizing she was hungry. That’s when she thought of her chinchilla, goat, and hedgehog.
    “Oh my dear b-(Hiccup)-abies must be hungry. I forgo-(Hiccup)-t to feed them this morning. (Hiccup).” She sprinted home, just in time to see someone slip out of her Eskimo hut in the city. “Help,” she called. “Someone’s been in my house.” People stopped and looked at her, but they refused to believe her. Who would want to steal from such a freak? She was so short, and skinny. She could be 15 with those braces.
    Marie Leigh Harper could do nothing but stand by and watch everyone hurry past her. “Oh dear. I hope Goatsy, Chinchill, and Hedge are all okay.” She was so worried her hiccups had stopped for once in her entire life. She rushed into the house, swinging her butterfly net. The only thing she connected with was her shin. “Well, I won’t ever do that again, now will I.”
    She was very relieved to see everything in its rightful place. She knew that people who shared their lives in a personal way with others had a tendency to lose things because this one wanted it this way and the other wanted it their way. She liked to have things her way and no one would mess with that.
    Marie Leigh Harper decided that it had been a long day. She migrated to her room and reached into a secret drawer. This was a drawer that Goatsy couldn’t get into because she had a bad habit of that. She reached for a pencil and started to record the events of the day. When she misspelled Hiccup, she flipped her pencil over and was about to try erasing the mistake when she realized that she had no eraser. “Did I tell you, (Hiccup) you could run out. Now I’m going to have to fix you. Now let’s see if I can find that gro-(Hiccup)-wth formula.” She searched the whole house before she remembered that she had put it in the right baby shoe. She reached down, and pulled out a very tiny vial with liquid of deep blue and a tint of brilliant green. She carefully pulled out a cork and dropped three very small drops onto the eraser. As she replaced the cork, she could see the eraser grow right before her eyes. Before the drops were placed on, the eraser was only a millimeter long. Now that she had added a growth formula, the eraser had become 5 inches long. Just as she was climbing into bed, her doorbell rang. She climbed out and cheerfully smiled, exposing all of her electric lime green braces. Standing before the door was Elizabeth Ann Flowers.
    She said “Very sorry to disturb you Miss Harper, but it’s only 9 in the morning. You can’t skip a full day of work. And besides, you’re the one in charge of the place. You need to be there for a full workday. You can’t skip out after only 5 minutes of work. And we don’t end the day until after 6 in the evening. You have at least 9 more hours to work. You need to come back.”
    “Oky doky (hiccup) smoky” she said happily.