• tab Hello, audience behind the computer. Assuming there is one, that is. Today, I'm taking a trip to memory lane, back into first grade. Now, then, I thought I was a top notch writer, and I have pretty fond memories of my writing. So let's see how my memories stack up to what they actually were. This is one of my stories, written word for word, bad spelling and all. My comments on it in parentheses.

    tab One day when Benjamin (Yes, that's my real name, and I used it my books all the time back then, because I was a prideful jerk.) was busicy with the family something happend. (First sentence, two spelling errors. So far, memory and reality aren't matching up.) That meaned a avanture. (Ok, this story might be a little easier to make fun of than I anticipated.)
    tab Benjamin shout to a anader planet. (Because...I guess he could do that.) He closed his eyes. Ones he woke up he knew he was entrouble. (Um, did I miss something?) Then he avolved to Saver Guy. (So, I guess this is a Super Hero story now. And Benjamin just "evolved" into Saver Guy.)
    tab he was in the planet moon. (Yes, Saver guy was on the "planet" moon.) 3 elions came to detroy Saver Guy. (I think I forgot something here...Something like plot. And good spelling.) They said “entruter, entruter” (Get used to seeing intruder spelled like that. It happens a lot. Along with aleins. Yes, "eleons" equals "aliens", in case you hadn't figured that out.) Then eleaons dug Saver Guy up. Then on astranot came to the moon. He was a Super Heoe too. his was called Fasty. (Yeup. That was the best I could come up with. Now cope and deal with it.) He dug up something and that something was Saver Guy. (Did anyone else notice how that sentence made absolutely no sense?) He gave Saver Guy some air. (Because...apparantly, besides being fast, he also has the power to give people oxygen. But it's just kind of a side thing.)
    tab Then Saver Guy woke up and said “what is your name?” Fasty said “My name is Fasty.” (Didn't we already establish that?) Then all the astrnots acsept of Fasty went back home. (Ok...Why?)
    tab Fasty said “wait.” (Well, geez, Fasty, you sound really determined. Maybe if you spoke even quieter and with even less care, they'd actually hear you!) everyone left Fasty behind. (We just said that, right?) Fast said “no. this can’t happen.” (Wow, Fasty. Your dialogue is very emotionally charged. I wonder who wrote it? Wait... burning_eyes )
    tab Then eleons came again and said “more entruters.” (See what I meant?) We (I guess we’re suddenly changing to first person now.) ran for are leves. The eleons got enhead. We daged every attack they did. We destroyed them like that. ("Like that". Very descriptive.) Then some kind of stone came right down. ("Some kind of stone". Again, very descriptive.) ones we totched it we went to ander plnnt. (Because, I guess "ander" really sounds like "another", right? That must be why I got them confused.)
    tab There were monsters there. They squeezed Saver Guy and Fasty. (Switching back to third person, I guess.) Saver Guy used bome attack. (Look, guys, I played too much Pokemon back then, ok?) The bome attack destroyed the monster. (It must’ve been super effective!) Then more and more monsters came. (Oh noes! What’s Saver Guy going to do?) Saver Guy did the same thing that he did with the first one that he did with the uders. (Um, ok. That was really clever, I guess?) Exsept one. One was the best.
    tab Saver Guy used Spider Web attack. (Insert Pokemon joke) The monster fell down dead. (I…guess he wasn’t really the best after all. Unless “spider web” is better than “bomb”.) They got the stone and went to the next planet. There was the boss there. (Ok, I was simply addicted to video games back then. That’s the only explanation. Heck, I must’ve worshiped them.) The boss kep knoking us (moving back to first person…) out. (Quick, guys, use Phoenix Down!) He was olmost enposable to beat. We saw a power up. (I…I really don’t know what to say. Was I writing a story for a video game, or was I just writing a story? I don’t remember anymore.) The power up dispared. (So, what was the point of me including it in the story if it was just going to disappear in the next sentence?)
    tab The only way to beat him was to die. (Well geez! That’s pretty dark, coming from a first grader!)
    tab Saver Guy and Fasty didn’t know who should die. (Oh my God. Did I actually write this seven years ago?) They desided Saver Guy should die, because he was the most bravest. (Ok, now things are getting a bit emotional. My heart is tugging…But obviously, he’s not going to die, right? I mean, this is like a children’s little story! And I wrote this in first grade! So, surely there’s some other way. Maybe a dashing hero will come in? Maybe the boss will just die on it’s own? Maybe…)
    tab So Saver Guy did die. (WHAAAAAAAT?!) Then the boss died. (Wait, WHAT?! I just let the main character…WHAT?!)
    tab Fasty went back home. (Well, geez, Fasty, aren’t you the caring friend. Saver Guy just DIED for you, the least you can do is pay a little re--) a merckel happened Saver Guy was aleve. (…) Hurray! Hurray! (…) Everybody cheared for Saver Guy. every tuseday they sebrat Saver Guys ameackel. (…) They were so happy that Saver Guy was back. THE END. (…I…I’m left speechless. Absolutely…speechless.)

    tab So, yeah, all in all, I thought it was pretty good. 10/10 from me!