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There was a cathedral that stood tall and proud. You could see the entire town from the steeple, and even far out into the bay. Flying buttresses gave the cathedral a dark look, but a look that was quickly forgotten when one sees the stained glass windows perched high up on the yellow brick walls. The windows depicted many scenes – the birth of Jesus, the death of Jesus, the ascension of Mary, the Last Supper. The citizens of this town took great pride in its cathedral. It gave us pleasure.
I especially enjoy its beauty in the early evening, just when the sun it setting on the horizon, last golden rays glinting off the colorful windows and twinkling stars already presenting themselves in the east. Seagulls glide through the air, the smell of fish lingers, bells ring and townspeople laugh merrily. It was good times.
The entire main street expands along the shoreline. You can walk out on the docks where fishermen are unloading the day’s catch and gulls are perched ominously, waiting for a chance to snag their dinner. Water laps on the thin stretch of beach, seaweed sways rooted in place on the seafloor. Little girls wade in the water, holding their skirts high, and little boys search for crabs and insects in the sand.
This was my last night here and I was set on enjoying it to its fullest. I kick my slippers off and stick my feet in the sand. There is still a bit of warmth left, and I wriggle my toes in it until my feet are completely buried. I kick my feet out and walk out on the pier. A steady wind blows from the open sea and I release my hair from my hat and let the mahogany strands billow in the breeze. I close my eyes and let the refreshing breeze cool my eyelids. I take a deep breath, breathing in the salty air.
"Victoria! Victoria Anne!” there is a vague voice calling from far off. I ignore it until it is right behind me. “Victoria, I’ve been looking for you”, Edmund confesses. I turn around and smile at him. The last beams of sunlight glimpse off his golden hair and his sea-green eyes twinkle.
“I’ve been moving around all day. This is my last day in England until I set out for America tomorrow with uncle”, I tell him, grinning. He sits down beside me on the pier and dips his feet in the water.
“You’re happy?” he asks after a while.
“Of course I am. It will be an adventure”, I say, looking up at the sky. I laugh loudly and it rings out across the sea. He smiles and leans back beside me until we are both side by side, looking into the darkening sky.
“It will be different”, he mumbles, and I can only barely catch the words as they slip from his lips.
“I know. But I will adjust”, I assure him.
“No. I mean, not seeing you every day”, he corrects me. His hand reaches mine and our fingers entwine.
“Yes, that will be different, too”, I say, closing my eyes.
“You’ll write?”
“Every day”.
“Promise?” he asks. Edmund sits up until he is leaning on one elbow and smiling at me. He is happy when I’m happy.
“Cross my heart. I may have to restrain myself as to not write several times a day”.
“That wouldn’t bother me”.
“Postage is expensive”.
“Still”.
“Yes, I’ll write. But I’m more concerned with you not writing back. I swear if you fail to return one letter I’m on the next ship back here to make sure everything is alright”, I warn him. He frowns and his gaze does not meet my eyes. “And I’ll be back in six years. And life will go on as planned”. He sighs.
“Six years is a long time”, he reminds me.
“It is nothing compared to life”, I say, kissing him tenderly for a moment. “Unless you want to reconsider your offer”, an unpleasant thought strikes me.
“Even if you do not come back until thirty years, I will still wait for you at the alter”, he promises.
“What about thirty-one?” I say, hugging him closer to me. Both of our heartbeats are quick; this is the way it always is when I’m with him.
“I’ll wait for eternity, Victoria. You call the shots”. I grin and lean my head against his strong chest. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. No moment could ever be as perfect as this.
“If that were the case, I’d be back in one”.
“Why don’t you?”
“Because my uncle is staying for six”.
“I’ll come get you”.
“Where will you find the money?”
“I’ll borrow it”. I laugh, and I believe him. He hugs me closer.
“Don’t worry about me, Ed. You can see me off”, I whisper. “I can take care of myself. And you trust uncle. I’ll be fine”, I assure him. He opens his mouth to say something but a different voice replaces it.
“Victoria Anne! I’ve been in frenzies looking for you!” the deep voice of my father echoes in my ear. Edmund and I whip around until we are facing him. He is furious.
- by this username is invalid |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 04/22/2010 |
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- Title: America the Beautiful (Ch. 1)
- Artist: this username is invalid
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Description:
It's about Victoria, a beautiful, wealthy, English girl who's uncle has promised to take her to America with him. America almost swallows Victoria whole and she needs to keep her head for her Prince Charming back home, Edmund. When an unexpected event occurs, what is the barrier between destiny and true love?
Comments and constructive criticism. I posted chapter two. Each chapter is pretty short. Thanks! - Date: 04/22/2010
- Tags: america love life happiness destiny
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Comments (3 Comments)
- master of ze marshmallow - 07/20/2010
- Wow. I love it. Write more!
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- bram toker - 06/03/2010
- Very good! Your writing is clear and concise, you've established a strong plotline, and I can tell you're dedicated to the story. However, there was a lot of dialogue. It's okay to have big chunks of pure one-on-one dialogue--but only if you have to. You did it several times in this one chapter. Another thing you can do to make this even better is to develop your characters more and really flesh out their personalities.
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- this username is invalid - 04/22/2010
- Actually, rephrase that. This chapter is PRETTY LONG.
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