• Have you ever had that feeling where....you feel as if everybody is a blur and you was dying to catch on to someone. To drawn out your existance, to make an meaning so you can fight back the angry murky nightmare. That seems to envlope you into it's distastful manifestation.

    Knowing all about how that feel, I can tell you now, LOVE is a painful yet ever so cruel when the one that you loves doesn't loves you back. It should be a reassuring fact that it happens alot, more than often. Wife cheats on husband, boyfriend cheat on boyfriend, on girlfriend? Exactly, it makes the world go round, I would say.

    That a single person out of any types of relationship, cannot have the mental yet corporal control to not involve your self sexual activity with a person who is not your sweetheart, inamorata, fiancee, lover, partner, suitor, escort, girlfriend and boyfriend. So, now do you see my problem?

    Maybe, just maybe if my life was as wrap up like the series Twilight, where I get to choose whether I can have the bitey yet formal vampire, or the edgey wolfie type that wants you, yet wants to make the other more jealous than loving you. It's only fiction, made up to play your most desirable fantasy, in a small 500 pages book.
    .............................................................................................................................

    As I type this, I wonder again for the third night in a row; remember why on earth did we fight again. Was it because of your parents, our seperation of miles by the different colleges we are going to be at, or maybe it was who would be shopping for the groceries this time.

    It's three in the morning and he shows up.....reaking of undesirable liquor and a hint of something else. Pretending to not notice, pretending to not feel helpless as he suffer in pain and trying my hardest to not be complete miserable with us.

    6.o'clock

    "Joseph, so um...what did the doctor say?" He look so tired, so weary. I hate to ask him, but I cannot just try to figure out, what is going on. "Dr. Grallefore, diagnose her with leukemia, he said that it hasn't spread; yet." Then from there I could nothing but cry; why. Why was the only question, I could come up with, why? Why, did it have to be her. Not that I would ever wish that on anybody else, but why our Gwen.