• When pigs fly, I hope for greater things. Such as a father who were to be always there and a mother to care for me. When pigs fly, I hope for the drugs that flow through my veins to stop from making my self deliberate to take in the next injection or the next smoke. When pigs fly, I hope to live in a big house with a perfect family and a dog. But, this is when pigs fly and pigs don't fly at all.

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    I want to know why, why when I pray for something it never comes? I sit on a pew, and raise my head towards god. Does he mock me for praying everyday for one thing? I sit back and ponder. I rub my face in despair. Feeling the cuts and bruises bring them back. Those stupid memories. I'm just a kid, just. I haven't even turned eighteen, and I'm already destroyed. Why did the big man put me on Earth anyway? I don't deserve to be here, neither do all the people I hang out with on a daily basis. I sigh, I stand and walk towards the door. The foot steps echo, and the sounds follows. I raise my hand pull open the door; Welcome to Hell. The sun beats wildly, making the side walk almost burn my Nike airs straight into the sidewalk. Sirens, honking, and yelling fill up my ears. I look up and see the buildings touch the sky. I ask an elderly woman on what time it was. She stared at me awkwardly. I guess not a lot of people find scraggly young men come of the chapel. It was time to go home and meet up ma. She was sick, with some kind of cancer. We have no money for the special treatment people get. At night, I hear her scream and yell because of the pain. She yelps and pleads. I want her to stop yelling and screaming. Her voice so disturbing, and dead. She was half alive and ready for the Big Man.

    I jay walk across 5th street. I find Ray, dumpster diving in one of the restaurant's dumpsters. He tosses debris all around.

    "What the hell are you doing Ray?" I said in disbelief.

    Ray turns around and faces me and grins wildly.

    "My boy!"Ray says in joy. He climbs out and runs to grab me knowing I will run. The stench filled up my nose and made me hurl before he even got to me. He paused and looked at me and laughed loudly.

    "You piece crap, you need a shower." I was panting hard and holding my knees. I had my "throw-up" all around my shoes.

    "C'mon man, you need a shower." He laughed again and proceeded back into the dumpster. He hurled an unopened can of pears at me.

    "Now tell your mom thats from me you heard?" He said smiling, and turned to continue he's treasure looking.
    "Sure will Ray, and by the way where Joel?" I said.

    Ray stopped rummaging, and I knew this will be coming.Lecture time! he turned around and faced my direction, even though we were ten feet afar I can still feel the anger coming through him. Ray was the father for me, though he is only twenty. He came fresh from a rich family. He was a runaway, I dunno why he put up a chance like that.

    "Joel, is nowhere and why do you still take those drugs?"Ray frowned and stared at me.

    I responded with a wave good bye and a run home. I left the peas there, no supper tonight mom sorry. I opened the unfinished door to my tenement. I paused, and listened in for a moment. The sound of crashes,curses, and bottles. Dad is home. I didn't want myself in for a beating, I guess I have to go around to the fire escape.I stepped outside and turned to a chain linked fence. I climbed it and landed on a closed dumpster. I came here so often when my dad was home. He's only home when he can't pick a fight at bar or he's just plain bored. I'm already done with his crap of his so called "love" when I was younger. He can't do that to me any longer so he gets pissed and runs over to rape my sick mother. Before, when my mom wasn't sick she would always protect me. Take all the beatings and what life hurled at her. Now, I was losing her. I feel selfish, about it never protecting her. I guess thats how people live, being selfish in order to be unselfish. I search around my pocket for dope and take out equipment and such. I smoke it and stare at the moon. The sounds are being drowned out, I'm in my own world now. The perfect world, the scenery I'll never get.