• “Sh.” I nodded and crept closer to him. I pulled my boney eight-year-old knees to my chest and tried not to cry. I had to be strong or I’d worry Him. Downstairs the cupboards banged and glass shattered. Her voice rose and fell but I mostly heard plain yelling. For a long time I thought the darkness we sat in would devour me whole. Waiting for the slam of Her bedroom door seemed endless. “It’ll be over soon. I don’t think she’ll come find us tonight.” I nodded again wondering when this would ever become normal.

    I opened my eyes happy that the dream was over. “You sure moan a lot when you sleep. Were you dreaming about ghosts?” Jason’s head hovered above mine in the darkness. My back was damp from falling asleep on the grass. Slowly I remembered not wanting to stay at home and escaping to the junior high again. “Tell me what you were dreaming about.” Jason pleaded rocking back and forth on his haunches. I sat up and sighed, “No.” “Well then we’ll have a race. If I win you’ll tell me what you dreamed about. If you win I’ll…” “Never talk to me at school.” I finished and stood to walk over to the track. “Wow I’d never think you’d be so compliant. I’ve seen your mile times. They’re pretty horrible actually. And I’m the fastest runner on the track team. The out come is obvious.” “How far are we going?” “One lap.” “That’s all?” I asked and he gave a puzzled look. “Ya. On the count of three.” I nodded. “One.” I took my jaguar like pose. The one He had taught me. “Two.” I took a calm breath pushing any other thoughts besides running out of my head. “Three.” My right foot shot off the track so fast I surprised my self. But the feeling was the best part. Wind whipped my long hair back and tickled my scalp while my feet pounded on the track continuously. The cold night air tingled every sense in my body. It felt so right to run. This love wasn’t something I could ever copy down on a page. I felt…free.

    The white line that marked the beginning of another lap appeared below my feet though and I stopped, collapsing onto the field with the largest grin I’d had in a long time. Jason collapsed next to me breathing hard a good ten or so seconds later. “How…” “Your track team must suck if you’re the fastest.” I laughed forgetting that I was with the most popular boy in school. “Ya. I guess it must. Where did you learn to run like that?” “It’s something you can’t teach. It’s a passion.” I said quoting Him casually. I stared at the dark school, which seemed to over power the small track. I’d only been here for one month and I’d already become so accustomed to the middle school at night. “Then bring your passion to the track team. I’ve never seen someone… let alone a girl run as fast as you.” “I…” Suddenly my head pounded so hard it made me cry out in pain. Flashes of memories rushed in so fast my brain wouldn’t process them. “Are you okay?” Jason asked, his eyes wide with worry. I cringed grabbing my head desperately. “No. No. No. No. Just stop. I won’t try out for track. I’m…I’m sorry.” I stood up and ran hoping the metal fence while my head still split. I slipped on someone’s front yard grass and fell helplessly. “Make the pain end.” I pleaded as if someone…anyone would hear me. I didn’t want to remember what happened that night. Not now when my life was getting back together.

    I reached my house quickly and in minutes I was back in my room squeezing my eyes shut. The pain lessened slowly and I stared at the clock, which read 1:12 a.m. The walls of my room seemed almost too sterile and white. The room more looked like a hotel room than a teenager’s bedroom. In my old house I’d put up dozens of newspaper clippings of Him and my walls had been painted my favorite Kelly green. After we moved it all just seemed pointless. I rubbed my tired eyes and stared at my hands. “B…blood.” I whispered looking at my shaking fingers that were covered in the red gooeyness. The room twisted in a weird shade of grey and I wiped my hands desperately to relieve them of the redness. It was useless. The blood was smeared everywhere. My walls, and floor, everything. It was as if a bloody animal came in and wiped its paws all over my room. “Make it stop.” I whispered. The things my own mind feared most flashed before my eyes. “Aaron!” I gasped looking at my His corpse lying lifeless and covered in blood. Loud thunder crashed behind me as tears streamed off my cheeks. “N…no!” I screamed covering my eyes with my bloody hands. “Make it stop! Make it stop!” I yelled more and more covering my eyes and rocking back and forth. Some one shook me roughly and peeled my fingers off my eyes. “Get a grip!” My mother yelled in my face and I stopped crying immediately. I stared at her as she cursed and left the room not asking for a word of explanation.