• The relentless sun beat down on me as I stepped out of the airport after my best friend. The smell of rain combined with the spicy sweet scent of the creosotes brought tears to my eyes. The parched tan desert made my heart lighten briefly before grief overcame me once again. I hefted my bag higher on my shoulder as we trumped to the car. I tossed my bag and suitcase into the trunk, muttered a hello to her parents, and then stared out the window, humming contentedly as I watched the familiar sights go back. Nostalgia filled me as I saw the exit for the fairgrounds. I brief memory of a pair of ice blue eyes and a wicked smile made my heart tighten. My friend touched my hand and I blinked back tears at the look of sympathy in her eyes. I shot her a light smile as we turned onto the bumpy dirt road that had recently been mine as well. Too soon, we pulled into her driveway. I grabbed my stuff but she gently pulled it from my hand and wrapped her arms around me. Her hazel eyes were bright with tears.
    “He’ll be over soon. I didn’t tell him when you were going to be here.” There was a flicker of amusement in her eyes before the sadness overtook them once more. “Let’s get you inside now.” She took my backpack and I lifted the suitcase, murmuring a compliment about her newly painted house. She had the cot pulled out for me and I sat on the edge, laying my head on my knees. Cinnabun, her precocious little kitten, let out a loud mraow and butted my hand. I gently scratched behind her ears. She began purring and Em sat down next to me, Biscuit on her lap. We sat in silence, both lost in our thoughts. I absentmindedly rubbed Cinnabun as she purred and fell asleep.
    “Emily!” I jumped and she stood, motioning for me to stay. I gave her a curt nod and leaned back on the mattress. I stared up at the ceiling and felt the familiar ache in my chest. I heard the muffled conversation and the ache became more poignant. I bit my lip and clenched my fist in an attempt to distract me from the emotional pain. I tasted blood; the sound of approaching footsteps had caused me to gnash my lip. Sitting up, I stared at the door waiting silently. The door pushed open to reveal two people-not including Em- gaping at me. I froze as I traced the square jaws of both men. A six inch difference in their heights was the only sign of a difference from before. Tears filled my eyes as another man pushed in between them. The pain returned as I saw his pale face, traced the dark circles of his eyes, and noted the weight he’d lost. I stood and wrapped my arms around my Prairie Dog, tears spilling silently down my cheeks.
    “Don’t cry,” he whispered. I saw that Em was crying too, her frame shaking with silent sobs. “I’m fine. Don’t cry Beaver.” I gave a hiccupy laugh at my nickname and gently stepped back. His eyes were dark with pain. I stifled my sob and caused my lip to bleed again. One of the silent figures stepped forward and touched my cheek. I grinned up at my “brother” and his eyes were soft as he lightly thumbed away my tears.
    “Missed you.”
    I hugged him close and said, “I missed you more.”
    “No I missed you more.”
    I opened my mouth to respond but Em cut me off.
    “I missed her times Chuck Norris’ third fist.” We all laughed but I broke off as I caught the icy blue stare that had haunted my dreams for years. I dropped my gaze to the floor and bit my lips again. A low mew of pain escaped me as the bloody taste again filled my mouth. A hand lifted my chin and I found myself caught in the haunting gaze once more. The warmth of his hands caused my breath to unintentionally hitch. His eyes held a glimmer of amusement and the corners of his lips twitched. The others started conversing loudly.
    His thumb brushed across my chin and I barely contained a shiver. He wiped the blood from my lip and I closed my eyes against the onslaught of tears threatening to fall after the stabbing pain in my heart. I heard something drop as soft lips gently pressed against mine. I froze at the pure rightness of the kiss before jerking away. I let out a low yelp as my foot hit the edge of the mattress and I began to fall towards the metal frame of Em’s bed. A warm hand grabbed my wrist and I blinked rapidly as I landed on a hard, muscular body. I was straddling him and my cheeks burned as he grinned at me.
    “Feel free to stay there as long as you want.” I couldn’t help giggling and he laughed. Cody offered me his hand and I allowed him to pull me up. He glared at Andrew and I realized that I was tearing up again.
    “a*****e. When was the last time you even cared to text her?” He growled. I noted that Andrew at least looked shamed but knew that it wouldn’t last. Em touched my arm and led me into the hallway.
    “Are you alright? I didn’t realize he would try that.” She brushed away the tear that fell from my eye.
    “I-I’m okay. I’m ashamed to say that it felt wonderful. Natural. And here I was thinking that I was completely over my pathetic crush.” I shook my head and realized that KJ had joined us. He touched my arm and I gave him a tight grin. “Thank ya’ll but I’m fine.” Em gently took KJ’s free hand in hers and he smiled brightly. I frowned at her and she shrugged her cheeks pink.
    “Brit?” I turned to see Andrew standing there. “Cody suggested the five of us walk over and surprise Boyko.” I nodded and glanced at my outfit; I was still wearing my nice traveling clothes.
    “Give me a minute to change into something more comfortable please. I’ll only be a moment.” They nodded and strode away. I quickly stripped and slid on a pair of shorts and a tank top with a pair of tennis. Feeling more ready to walk, I tied my hair up into a loose braid and went out to join the group. They grinned and we stepped out into the dry heat. I grinned broadly at the wonderful feeling of burning instead of boiling. It was at least 100 out with barely any humidity. Shaking my head, I followed Em, Cody, and KJ as they buoyantly danced ahead.
    “I’m sorry if I was rude.” I glanced at him, mouth opening slightly. His eyes were on the ground and he had his hands shoved in his pockets. “I didn’t realize how much I hurt you not texting you.”
    “It wasn’t your entire fault. Your girlfriend wouldn’t let me talk to you.” I glanced at the cacti surrounding us. The prickly pear still held no appeal which meant I hadn’t been away for too long.
    “Ex.” I frowned at him and he grinned. “Dumped her not long ago. She cheated on me as well.” I grimaced.
    “Don’t say I hadn’t warned ya. You never listened when I said that she would do it too.” I paused for a moment and studied him. “Don’t see how they can cheat on you though. You’re too damn handsome for your own good.” I traced the strong line of his jaw and the sharp line of his nose then blushed as I realized he was studying me.
    “I’m not handsome at all.” I shook my head at his absurdity and he gently took my hand. When I glared at him, he shrugged but I soon realized that I didn’t want to let go; no matter what had happened between us, I still loved him.
    We walked the rest of the five minutes in silence. The four of them blocked me as we knocked on Beka’s door. I kept glancing next door and felt sick as I saw the changes to my house. Shaking off the anger, I waited patiently. Beka answered the door not even a second later and let out an exclamation of surprise at the group waiting for her.
    “Hey guys. What are you doing here?” I peeked through a gap in their legs and saw Chris’ legs come into view.
    “Hey guys.”
    I stood behind Cody and tapped him on the shoulder. The four of them moved aside and Beka let out a squeal as she crushed me to her; her grip was strong for such a thin girl. Chris hugged me too and soon I was at the center of a group hug.
    “Um…can’t breathe.” They laughed wildly as they pulled back. Beka had tears in her eyes and smiled.
    “I can’t believe you’re here! I missed you so much!” She giggled until Chris touched her arm, his eyes tightening as he looked over my shoulder. I turned and let out a cry as KJ stumbled back, coughing up blood. I hurried over to him and held him as he shook.
    “Get the car!” I shouted at Cody and Andrew. They ran off and I held KJ as he hacked in my arms. Tears were streaming down my face and Em’s. She held his hand as Beka handed him a towel. In just moments, Andrew pulled up in the car and we all piled in, Em and I in the back seat on either side of KJ. I shook the whole drive, tears streaming down my cheeks. By the time we pulled into the hospital, KJ was unconscious, the towel soaked with blood.
    “Let him go. They’re going to take him,” Andrew murmured as the orderlies took hold of the situation. I reluctantly released him and Em cried into Cody’s shoulder. Andrew led me over to a double seat and began to wipe at my face. It was then that I realized I was still crying. My body was numb and I sat staring at the wall for the longest time. A few hours of doing this ended when a kindly looking nurse came out.
    “Are you the friends of KJ?” We all nodded. “He’s going to be fine. We’re keeping him for a few days but we were able to fix the problem with little difficulties. One of you can stay if you like. But there’s no need to worry.”
    Relief coursed through me and I nodded at Em as she volunteered to stay with him. It was only after we got back into the car that I realized I had no place to stay.
    “Um…” I started.
    “We’re going to get you a change of clothes and you’re coming to my house. I already cleared it with my mom.” Andrew touched my hand; I was sitting in the passenger seat while Cody slumbered lightly in the back.
    “Ok then. Just read my mind will ya.” I turned on some music and when we got to Em’s, I grabbed my backpack and quickly let her parents know what had happened and where I was going. Then we dropped Cody off at his house before driving to Andrew’s.
    “Hi there sweetheart,” his mom greeted us at the door. I smiled and she frowned as she saw me. “Andrew, show her the bathroom. She needs to clean up.” She turned back to me. “Take a shower and we’ll make some food for you.”
    “Thank you. It’s good to see you.” She chuckled then turned to go further inside. Andrew took my hand and led me to the bathroom.
    “Hey, there’s a towel in there and you can use my body wash.” He grinned. “Get cleaned up and we’ll have dinner waiting.” His smile disappeared as we stood there in silence. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. Then he turned and left. I methodically began to strip off my bloodstained clothes. I was covered in blood. After a quick, hot shower, I dressed in a pair of gym shorts and a baggy tee.
    Dinner consisted of mac and cheese with hot dogs and we watched a movie while we ate. I ended up curled in a ball on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me. Andrew sat there and eventually motioned for me to curl up in his arms. I blushed and leaned against him, his arm around my shoulder. It felt natural for us to be sitting like this. His mom had a satisfied smile on her face. After the movie, she gave me a hug and went to bed.
    “Come on, I doubt you’re ready for bed so we’ll watch some more movies in my room.” He smiled and we watched a couple more movies in his bed. At some point, I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was waking up crying. Andrew was on the couch and I grabbed at his hand. He woke with a start and immediately pulled me into his arms as he murmured softly.
    “It’s ok B. It really is.” He held me as I cried myself out. When I was done, I remained in the cocoon of his arms, completely content. He was warm and his fingers ran softly up and down my arm. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.
    “Thank you,” I whispered. “For everything.” He smiled and touched my arm. I stared at him, tracing the features I knew well. His eyes were slightly shadowed as he traced my jaw. I shivered and smiled shakily at him. “I miss our friendship. It meant the world to me and I can’t believe I ruined it.”
    “You didn’t ruin it. SHE did. I wanted to talk to you but she threatened my balls if I so much as messaged you once.”
    “Why would she do that?” I frowned.
    He didn’t answer immediately, his eyes on mine. When he did, he looked away. “She felt threatened by you. I told her that you and I were close.” I frowned again. “You have always been there for me. I depend on you and she didn’t like that. She was jealous of you.”
    “You weren’t even talking to me then. How was she jealous?” I froze as he looked at me.
    “I was talking about you almost constantly for the first few weeks. I missed you more than I thought I could miss another person.” He smiled. “You’re my best friend. You always have been. I realized what an a** I was all those weeks when we were fighting over something as small as you being worried about me. I didn’t know how much I’d hurt you time and again because every time I saw you, you had a smile on your face. You were always there for me even when I didn’t deserve it. B, I guess I didn’t want to see all the things I should’ve. You knew exactly what to say to me even when I didn’t want to hear it. You were never afraid to say anything that was important. That’s why I liked you. When I realized you liked me, I got scared and backed off. You’re important to me. It was a new feeling to trust someone at my back but I let you because I knew you wouldn’t stab me in the back like everyone else has.” I touched his hand. “Everyone I know loves you and I heard what everyone said about us as a couple. I wanted to be a couple but didn’t want to seem weak for liking a girl that was actually good for me. So I dated girls who hurt me. Who never truly liked me like you did. They never understood me. But you always understood what I didn’t want you to understand. You know me better than anyone else without me actually telling you anything.” He fell silent, his cheeks darkening slightly.
    “Why couldn’t you tell me this before?” I held his hand, smiling softly.
    “I didn’t know how. It wasn’t until I saw how you threw yourself into helping KJ today that I realized you would forgive me. You don’t hold grudges like the rest of my so called “friends”. I need you to know that I miss you.” I studied him and smiled broadly.
    “What? You expect me to run away?” I giggled as he frowned at me. I softly laid my hand on his cheek. “I was never able to be mad at you for more than a few days.” He smiled. “Now then, I am unable to sleep so hows about we play some games?” He chuckled.
    “Let me up so I can go get a board game.” I stood and when he left, I realized my shirt was a bit damp so I grabbed a tank top out of my bag and changed. When he came back in, I was sitting on the bed reading.
    “Monopoly?” I grinned and looked closer. “Pokémon Monopoly!” Quickly, I sat on the floor as he set up the game. We played for half an hour, getting more and more competitive. Finally, he admitted I won the game.
    “You’re pretty damn good at that,” he said as we began putting the game up. I was slightly behind him and found myself staring at him. He turned slightly and a cocky grin crossed his face. “See something you like?”
    I winked and said, “Of course I do.” His eyes darkened slightly as he stood and pulled me close. My heart hammered against my chest as I stared into his eyes. We stood there for a few moments before I leaned up and kissed him. His response was immediate as he deepened the kiss, his arms tightening around me. I moaned as the sweet smell of his skin assaulted me. When we broke apart, my knees were like jelly and I was panting slightly.
    “Now that was a kiss,” he chuckled as we sat down. I hid a yawn as I snuggled closer to him. “I’m glad you’re here.” I nodded and fell asleep.

    “Get up! We gotta get moving!” Someone shook me and I blearily sat up. Andrew placed a searing kiss on my lips and I blushed as I realized someone was in the room.
    “Who’s that?” I asked as I narrowed my eyes trying to see; my glasses were at Emily’s.
    “Probably don’t even recognize me do ya?” The voice clinched it.
    “Aw dammit. Couldn’t it be someone I actually liked?” I muttered as I grabbed my bag. “Let me get dressed.” I pushed into the bathroom and quickly slid into a white summer dress with a pair of leggings. I plaited my hair in a braid and smudged a little eyeliner to hide the bags under my eyes. Sighing, I strode back in and blushed as Andrew stood there shirtless, searching his drawers. I stared appreciatively at the sight of his tanned skin and hard muscles.
    “Really? Don’t start drooling.” I cut a glare at James as he reclined on the couch.
    “Shut your mouth you a*****e.” I shot another glance at Andrew before sliding on a pair of shoes. “What are we doing today?”
    Andrew glanced at me as he slid a shirt over his chest. I smiled to hide the direction of my thoughts. “We’re going to the mall. Faithe is meeting him there so I figured you wouldn’t mind going to see a movie.” He smiled his crooked smile at me.
    “What are we seeing?” He listed a title but I barely heard it. He offered me his hand and I took it. We said bye to his mom and she winked at me. I blushed and climbed into the front seat of his truck. The ride was short and filled with music. When we got there, Faithe hugged me. Andrew took my hand as we walked inside to join the throng of people waiting in line.
    “Long line,” I murmured.
    “Just means more time I can spend standing here with you.” He hugged me, his eyes bright with humor. We spoke of inconsequential things until we got to the counter. He bought our tickets and when we sat down in the theatre, I realized this was kind of like a date. When I mentioned it to him, he grinned and said, “Good. That’s what I want it to be.”
    Later, we drove to the hospital to see KJ. He was awake and smiling at Emily.
    “How are you doing?” I murmured as I held his hand. He shrugged and Emily hugged me.
    “He’s doing better. He’ll be out of the hospital tomorrow. Can ya’ll give me a ride home?” She kissed him softly and he grinned.
    “Let’s go. We’ll be back to bring you home tomorrow KJ.” He nodded and I kissed his cheek as we left.
    “Things are getting better,” Emily murmured as we drove away. “He’s lucid and told me he wants a committed relationship after he gets out. I think we’re going to make it work.” I grinned at her and she blushed.
    “Glad it’s working out for you,” Andrew said as he glanced at me. “Maybe things will work out for your best friend there too.” I cut a glance at him and saw the serious look on his face.
    “As long as I have someone, I think I should be perfectly fine.” He smiled and Emily let out a whoop.
    “Finally you two!” She grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. “What? Everyone’s being seeing the attraction between you guys for years.”
    “Yeah, yeah. Hush.”

    My two weeks went by in a blur of friends and happiness. I was clueless when it came time for me to have to leave. I sat silently in the car and stared at the airport.
    “Come on. We need to get you on your flight in time.” Andrew grabbed my hand and eased me out of the car. I smiled tightly at him, not wanting to say goodbye. We wheeled my stuff inside and Emily hugged me, her eyes wet with tears.
    “I’m going to miss you!” She sobbed as she hugged me close. KJ just hugged me before stepping back to comfort Emily. I smiled at them before I was wrapped in a warm embrace. I smelled the addicting smell of his cologne and grinned against his chest.
    “I won’t say goodbye,” he whispered as I pulled back to look at him. His blue eyes were bright.
    “Don’t. Just say what’s on your mind.” I smiled at him.
    “Ok. I love you and am going to miss you horribly.” I gaped at him and he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine.
    “I love you too.” I returned his kiss and he smiled.
    “Now we need to get you to the security check.” He took my hand and they led me to where we’d have to part.
    “I’ll see all of you soon.” I hugged all of them and kissed Andrew one more time before getting in line. I glanced back at them and blew them a kiss. Then I left to the depths of the airport.

    A year passed. I graduated with honors and spoke to everyone every day. Andrew and I grew closer even if we weren’t able to see each other. I was sitting on my front porch waiting on my mom to get home so that I could go get my license. My nose was buried in a book and I smiled as a car pulled in. Glancing up, I stared as Andrew climbed out of the passenger seat. I dropped the book and raced over and threw myself into his arms.
    “What are you doing here?” I exclaimed as he held me close.
    “I got flown out here. I missed you so much.” He kissed my cheek and smiled. “Let’s get into the car and get you your license.” We drove away and my mom let us talk.
    An hour later, we were home and I was staring at my license. Andrew sat beside me on the couch, his smile wide. “Congrats.”
    “Let’s go to dinner. You and me.” I glanced at my mom as she held the keys in the air, her nose buried in her latest book. I kissed her on the cheek and grabbed his hand. “Come on.”
    We sat down at a neat little restaurant nearby. I sat across from him and we talked comfortably all evening.

    “Swimming,” Andrew muttered as we stopped at a small swimming area I knew. I hopped out and stripped down to my bathing suit.
    “Come on. It’s fun.” I grabbed his hand.
    “I don’t have a bathing suit on.” He grumped.
    “Then go in your boxers. It’s not like anyone’s going to be out here.” I walked into the water and grinned back at him. “Come on!” Finally he joined me. We laughed and splashed until the moon rose above us.
    “I missed you,” I said as we waited on our clothes to dry a bit. I was sitting on a log staring at the river.
    “I’ve missed you too. It just wasn’t the same just talking. I like seeing you.” He helped me up and kissed me. I melted into his embrace and was happy.
    “Let’s go back.” We left and he stayed for a few weeks before going back to Tucson.

    “Bye Mom.” I hugged her before getting on the plane to go to college. I breathed in the smell of the creosotes when I landed in Tucson. Em and KJ welcomed me and drove me to my apartment. KJ took my suitcase up and Em and I slowly walked up.
    “Don’t get mad but we had some help setting up in here.” She winked as the door opened to show Andrew standing there in a tank and jeans. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me fiercely, his arms clutching me.
    “I love you.” He grinned as he helped me in. “I hope you don’t mind. I’ve got the couch.”
    “You’re staying here too?”
    “I didn’t want to live with my family anymore and I want to be with you. If you don’t mind.”
    I walked up to him. “Of course I don’t mind.” I kissed him soundly. “But, you are going to be mine until the day you walk away.”
    “Good thing I wasn’t planning to leave ever.” He slid a ring onto my finger and kissed the tip of my nose. “I love you B.”
    “I love you too.”
    And we all gathered in the kitchen and drank hot chocolate, happy and alive.