• 'This can't be it…'

    He stared at her, studying her as she shouted obscenities at him. Her skin so pale it almost seemed artificial when he considered how hot and sunny it had been lately. He found himself concentrating on the lines in her forehead and the wild look she had in her eyes, the normally striking blue had taken on a dark hue. He slowly noted how animalistic she seemed as her nose flared up in the same fashion it did whenever she was angry, and then his eyes fell on her lips, opening and closing widely with each condescending word she spat at him. His brows drew together and he frowned thoughtfully, remembering that she was angry at him for some reason…What had she said before he tuned her out, again?

    He tried to concentrate on the movement of her lips as her voice, muffled at first, boomed back into his ears with such a force, that he couldn't believe he hadn't heard her before…but he was sure the rest of the student body had tuned in to what he had missed, she was loud enough to bring in a crowd from miles. He sighed,

    'No, this can't be it. This can't be what the fuss is about.' When had she stopped being enough? When did this beautiful, outspoken, feisty loner become just some raving, jealous b***h?

    His hand moved on its own accord, maybe his body was subconsciously trying to find a way to shut her up. His large hand gripped her chin, pulling her face forward, not with enough force to hurt her but with more than enough to get her attention. He shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh, releasing her from his hold almost as soon as he initiated the contact.

    "What do you want from me?" He almost winced at how angry his voice sounded to his own ears. When did he start losing his temper with this girl? Oh, that's right. It was at the same time he realized that he'd grown tired of her bullshit…

    'Too long…' he berated himself as she ran her hands through her long black curls and sneered at him with a look of disbelief in her eyes.

    "Have you even heard a word I've said?" She fumed. He could have laughed at her in that moment. She looked almost surprised that he would act this way, but should she really be?

    "I don't think it really matters, does it? We both know this isn't working Jade, so how about we just drop this bullshit act now?" He spoke with a volume much quieter than the first as he thought about how long they had been pretending to be the perfect couple. He didn't wait for her response when he shut his locker and slung his pack over his shoulder, leaving the halls and the gossiping audience behind him.

    When he pulled out of the high school parking lot, he couldn't keep the smile from forming on his face as the sun beamed down through his sunroof and the feeling of relief swam through his body. He didn't realize until now how much she had been suffocating him and deep down he knew that this time was final. They wouldn't make up again. He wouldn't call her late at night after he felt like she'd had enough, and he wouldn't lose an ounce of sleep over it.

    He pressed eject on the car stereo and gripped the mix CD in his hands, thinking of all the loud angry songs that reminded him a lot of his relationship the last few months. And without a second thought, he rolled his window down and threw the offending CD out the window. He watched in his rear-view mirror as it was run over by a tractor trailer heading west…Ironic. It was as if he could suddenly breathe again.

    "So long Ms. West…"

    ---


    When he arrived home, she was already outside waiting for him. The love of his life…He grinned despite himself as she waved him down, approaching the car in quick strides, barely allowing him to exit the vehicle before barreling into his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist as she beamed up at him, similar to a child.

    He only really kept Jade around because of her, didn't he? For some strange reason, Cat seemed to take a liking towards Jade more than he could say for any of the girls he brought around. He couldn't explain it, but his sister seemed to believe there was a lot more to the girl than she let on. He even believed that to be true himself once, but his initial image of her was barely a figment of the girl he came to know in their relationship.

    He was almost worried about what her reaction would be when he broke the news to her…but he figured she would understand that it was for the best, he just wasn't any happier with Jade than he was alone and he was sure that 'love' wasn't supposed to feel that way—if it existed for that matter. Sure, he loved his sister wholeheartedly and without a single doubt, but love between two people seeking solace or happiness with each other—No, it wasn't made for him. He doubted he'd find a girl who could make him feel that way when he considered his recent failure in that department.

    None of it really mattered at the moment though. No one could hold a candle to the girl that he'd loved all his life. He would take care of her without a question asked no matter how their lives turned out. She could still bring a smile to his face almost effortlessly and when he felt like he couldn't stand to be in that house anymore his mind always wandered back to her, reminding him of what he'd be leaving behind. So he put her happiness first, as was expected of a big brother. Even though they only had a mere two years between their ages, he knew he'd aged so much more than she had living how they had for so many years…

    "What are you doing out here? I could've sworn Bertha ordered you to stay in bed this morning."

    "Aw, come on. It's just a cold,"

    "Cat, you know you're not supposed to be out here," He gave her a stern look and she proceeded to pout at him, before releasing him from her hold and allowing him to lead her inside the three-story home that they lived in since Cat was born, sixteen years ago.

    She had always been sickly, even as a child. It just seemed like her immune system was never strong enough to withstand the day-to-day activities that 'normal' people were able to. His mother, in a desperate need to keep the rest of her children alive refused to let his sister undergo a set of minor surgeries over the span of two years to improve her health. Instead she hired a house nurse and forced herbs and natural remedies down her throat every second of the day.

    He held in a sigh as he entered the day room, his mother was hanging up new drapes again. Purple, with red and yellow flowers mingling together around the trim as they were hung delicately from the matching curtain rod. It was another attempt at bringing life into the lonely home that the three of them shared with his stepfather. His mother turned around when she heard the door close and smiled fondly at her children.

    "Look whose home…" She stepped down off her stool and dusted her hands animatedly before smoothing down the ends of her skirt. She had always been a slender petit woman, keeping her shape intact even after three children. Her long dark hair was fastened back in a sleek pony tail. From a distance she looked barely in her 30's, but when in close proximity one could notice the lines in her face and around her tired eyes, gained early in life from the loss of her oldest son and years of worrying over her youngest daughter.

    Beck had to bite his tongue. He could feel it twirling around in his mouth eager to help him voice his frustration with their mother. She thought she was doing a good thing keeping his sister locked up inside, which probably was helping more than he'd like to admit; but it didn't take a genius to realize that the girl was lonely being cooped up in this big house by herself all day. She hadn't even noticed that Cat had left the sanctity of their home and for who knows how long? Her condition was even more delicate now that she wasn't feeling well and his mother was as clueless as ever. But instead of lashing out he decided to ignore her instead, putting his hand firmly on his sister's shoulder, nudging her forward lightly in the direction of the stairs.

    Cat didn't speak, she could feel the tension radiating off of him. She knew that he was just concerned about her, but did he have to be so rude to their mother? She wouldn't comment on it though, hoping that he would forget about it soon enough and just keep her company, which in the end he did.

    He put his bag down outside of her door and sat with her for hours, engaging in conversation about his day, never bringing up her condition or his newly found freedom. They watched some television before she finally fell asleep, not being able to keep herself awake past nine o'clock that evening. He turned off the television before exiting her room, closing the door behind him before retreating up a final set of stairs to his bedroom. It didn't take long for Beck to sink into his bed falling sleep faster than he had in months.

    ---


    Wake up. Shower. Go to school. Go home. Sleep.

    This was the strict routine he'd been following for the last two weeks. Everything had gotten extremely boring. Nothing had changed aside from spending every free moment he had with Jade. He couldn't say he missed it though. He just wanted something different, anything different anything…

    He had been sitting in class, dazing off when Mr. Morgan cleared his throat calling for the students' attention. Beck didn't look up however, even when his teacher announced the arrival of a new student.

    'Who would switch schools this late into the semester?' Beck thought, but rolled his eyes as Mr. Morgan lamely stumbled over his words while trying to give the student a proper introduction. It wasn't until he noticed the room had hushed and he heard a voice when he instantly looked up to find the owner.

    She was alluring, just like her voice. Brown wavy curls framed her face and cascaded down past her shoulders. Her cheeks had pinked, maybe she was embarrassed because of the attention—he didn't know but he noticed how pretty the color in her face looked, lively. His eyes traveled past the blue blouse she wore and the jeans that fit her in all the right places, and then all the way down to the black and white classic converse she wore on her feet, sizing her up to the fullest extent. It wasn't until he looked back up at her face that he noticed her staring at him quizzically. She had caught him, caught him checking her out with no intentions of being secretive about it. Her head quirked to the side before she made the most distasteful look he'd ever seen a girl make at him, well, a girl that he didn't know. He was taken aback by the sudden change in her demeanor and found it hard to keep his expression from giving him away once he noticed everyone was staring at him— wondering what had caused her to have such a reaction, but he never took his eyes off her.

    She was approaching him, her eyes never leaving his and he straightened his back in his seat, waiting…and he could have laughed at himself when she sat in the only available seat in the class which was right next to him. Her eyes were now cast straightforward not once looking in his direction again, no matter how many times he would turn his head to look at her, but he noticed though…that no matter how attentive she seemed to be during Mr. Morgan's painstakingly long lecture about photosynthesis, he could tell that she was trying her hardest to not look in his direction. He had to admit, she was doing a damn good job, but he noticed how she would squeeze her pen between her fingers every time he glanced at her, stilling her body, forcing herself not to react to him on instinct.

    He smiled at that and decided to keep his eyes elsewhere, for her sake. But he couldn't keep his mind off her, even after the class ended and she gathered her stuff dropping her bag in the process. She reached down at the same time he did, their hands touching as they both reached for the strap at the same time, but she avoided his gaze, mumbling a 'thanks' as she quickly left the classroom. He searched for her in the halls, maybe he was planning on introducing himself, he wasn't sure. But she was lost in the halls amongst the rest of his peers. It was strange for him, to be so taken by this girl. What's her name…what was her name?

    He racked his mind for it, knowing he had to have heard it when she introduced herself to the class. He had to have heard it roll off her tongue; in that sweet voice of hers…it was long, twisting on his tongue as he tried to figure it out. Making a bunch of 'ia' sounds in his mind. And then he smiled, feeling triumphant when the name floated from his lips.

    "Victoria," he sighed as the halls started to clear and people were heading home. He didn't know a single thing about her besides the fact that she had successfully gotten his attention, even if it seemed that it might be unwanted.

    When he got in his car, ready to pull out of the lot to go home, he saw her again as she was getting into a car with another girl that he hadn't seen before. The top was down as the older girl whipped out of the parking lot. Victoria's head was back against the seat and her hair blew softly around her face as she stared out around her and they disappeared down the street and out of his sight.