the cuts on my wrists are going away, fading. I;m glad. I won't have to wear my black gauntlets all the time anymore. I'm all alone downstairs on the computer. It's the only time I can be true to myself, when I'm alone. When I can cry without fear of being heard. It's so hard to go outside now. I get sent to the store and I go there, get the milk or whatever, but then on the way back... when I'm about to go down a block and then turn down my backlane... It's hard to go back. i almost cry, my heart stays in place there, at the corner, but my body forces itself to keep walking. I think everytime that happens, I leave a small bit of my heart behind. People always say t me 'follow your heart' and crap, but I can't, if I did then I'd be long gone by now. I'd be hitchhiking to another province to pick up arwen, and then... well my imagination never got past the 'and then'. It's been raining lately. I love the rain. I want to be out in it. Running. Free of all the things that bind me here, free and running through the rain. Running to where my heart says, running to Arwen. But no. I can't. I'm stuck here. The chains won't let me go.
P.S. did you know Arwen means 'Royal Maiden'?
purpletomatoes Community Member 
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