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Ashamed or shy...and selfish?

My guy, my WONDERFUL guy, can make me feel like I'm about the size of his native leprechauns (he's Irish, the blood and drinking but no accent) I don't know how and I don't know why, but some of the things he says makes me feel so selfish. I asked him once why he let me take up his time 3 hours at a time with pointless phone conversation, and he replied "You're my girlfriend, why shouldn't my time be spent on you?" I swooned, and felt so selfish that I didn't know whether to run all the way over to his house and hug him or throw myself into a burning building (blue flames and all, do a Keiko from Yu Yu Hakasho thing) I feel selfish because I have it so great and I have no reason to complain about anything.

He's so great...but here's another thing.

I went up to him in the hallway when he was at his locker, getting his stuff for Track (damn Track and football, they keep him away from me!) I went up to him and we talked and then I hugged him good bye and kissed him on the cheek. Now, we didn't pull away that much and I wanted a kiss (last time we were a 'couple' was about SEVEN days before this) and I asked for a kiss. He looked so incomfortable, looking around all anxious and he kind of pulled away. But after making sure the cost was clear, he gave me a closed mouth kiss. Tasted ok, worst kiss of my life. I just walked away, pissed as hell and my heart pounding so hard to the point where I couldn't breath.

If he's so ashamed (or shy) to kiss me in public, even though everyone knows we're together, then he should just tell me. I died a little bit inside because of that, and I just can't believe he did it.

Maybe I'm just looking for something to go wrong, or maybe I'm being punished for all those guys I teased and walked away from. I don't know, I'm just one big, cosmic joke I guess.

I stirred the karma, I poked the chi.

My fault.

But is my guy shy or ashamed?