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Scene: Charlie's dinningroom
(Charlie sits at the table, cleaning his guns. Bella walks in with a can of beer. She takes a quick drink before placing it in front of Charlie.)
Bella: Hey, got you another one.
Charlie: What happened to "get your own freakin beer"?
Bella: Change of heart?
(Charlie puts down the gun he was cleaning and turns towards Bella.)
Charlie: All right, who is he?
Bella: What? Who?
Charlie: I know there's a boy involved somewhere.
Bella: (under her breath) He's not a boy, technically.
Charlie: What?
(Bella looks over her shoulder at the door.)
Bella: It's Edward Cullen. He's right outside.
Charlie: He is?
Bella: Yeah, he wanted to meet you, officially.
Charlie: All right, bring him in.
(Bella leaves to get Edward. Charlie grabs one of his guns and stands up. Bella returns with Edward, who's eyes are red and puffy.)
Charlie: What happened to your eyes?
Edward: um...(looks at Bella)...pepperspray?
(Charlie looks at Bella and smiles. Bella just shrugs. Charlie's gun then goes off and shoots Edward in the shoulder. Edward quickly drops to the ground with a moan.)
Charlie: Hey, it was still loaded. There's a lesson in all of this.
Bella: Yeah, don't shoot people.
Scene: Baseball field
(Bella and Esme stand behind homeplate. Everyone else is in their positions.)
Alice: Stop!
(Everyone looks paniced. They all run to where Bella is.)
Alice: Someone seriously let one rip over there.
Carlisle: Alice.
Alice: Oh, right. They were leaving. They then heard us.
(Edward gets real close to Bella.)
Edward: Get your hair down.
Rosalie: Like that'll help.
(The Cullens quickly get in a defensive line around Bella. Edward pushes Bella behind him. The badies then walk into the clearing. Victoria trips, but quickly gets back up. Laurent is holding a baseball and they stop just in front of the others. Laurent holds up the baseball.)
Laurent: I believe this belongs to you.
(Laurent tosses the baseball a little too hard. It ends up going into the forest.)
Carlisle: Thanks.
Laurent: I am Laurent. And this is Victoria and James.
Jasper: I have a question for you, Lauren.
Laurent: It's Laurent.
Jasper: Of course it is. So how do we know that you're a vmpire? I mean, you're not exactly pale. And why do you get magically pailer in the next movie?
Laurent: Is that a racist comment?
Emmett: Do you want it to be?
(The wind suddenly blows past Bella, though it hadn't been windy that whole time. James catches a wiff.)
James: You brought a snack.
(Edward is suddenly holding a KFC bucket and nibbling on a leg. Everyone quickly gets in a defensive stance.)
Laurent: A chicken?
Carlisle: The chicken is with us.
Emmett: Yeah, get your own snack.
James: Fine. I'll take the girl.
Edward: You can't.
James: Why not?
Edward: She's for dessert.
(Bella gulps in fear.)
Scene: Emmett's Jeep
Bella: What, now he's coming after me?
Edwar:L He's not coming after you. He's coming for the chicken.
Bella: So, just give him the chicken.
Edward: (gasps) How dare you say that.
Bella: Are you serious?
Edward: Again, as serious as Billy.
Bella: (angry) Pull this car over.
Edward. No.
Bella: Do it now!
Edward: Fine!
(Edward stops the Jeep. Bella leans over and jabs Edward in the throat again. She then gets out of the Jeep while Edward chokes.)
Scene:Hotel in Phoenix
(Jasper and Alice are in the lobby checking out. Bella's phone starts to ring. She answeres it without looking to see who it is.)
Bella: Hello?
Vampire: Hey gorgeous.
Bella: Oh, hey.
Vampire: Are you all right?
Bella: Yeah, it's just...
Vampire: Bad time?
Bella: Yeah.
Vampire: You wanna see a movie later?
Bella: Yeah. I just have to go play with the sissy vampires first.
(The vampire laughs as he hangs up.)
Scene: Outside the ballet studio
(Bella gets out of a taxi. She watches as it drives away.)
Bella: (thinking) I'd never given much thought to how I would die.
(Bella pulls out her pepperspray and shakes it.)
Bella: (thinking) But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.
(Bella fiddles with the pepperspray. She accidently presses the button and it sprays into her eyes. Bella drops it and starts to scream. She stumbles around and falls as she tries to get to the door.)
- by BrOkEnXrObOt |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/15/2009 |
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- Title: Flashlight (part seven)
- Artist: BrOkEnXrObOt
- Description: Part seven of the twilight spoof.
- Date: 12/15/2009
- Tags: flashlight part seven
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Delia815 - 12/29/2009
- LMBO! Keep them coming please!!
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- Taurius Dreams - 12/23/2009
- LMAO this is funny
- Report As Spam