• ----------------------------------------------

    I just don't know what to do with myself
    Don't know just what to do with myself
    I'm so used to doing everything with you
    Planning everything for two
    And now that we're through

    It’s been one freaking month since you’ve gone…I still couldn’t believe it…after all those years….you left me for someone who’s let you down before. Up to then I still haven’t cleaned up the place…your clothes were still here…your things were still here. It’s been a long time since I’ve stayed there alone…it’s been 3 years.

    I just don't know what to do with my time
    I'm so lonesome for you it's a crime
    Going to the movie only makes me sad
    Parties make me feel as bad
    When I'm not with you
    I just don't know what to do

    I felt so alone those days. Whenever I would random couples on the street I wanted to shout at them…I guess I was just jealous that they had someone who really cared…I didn’t know what to do anymore…it was like some part of me disappeared when you left…and…

    Like a summer rose
    It needs the sun and rain
    Oh, I need your sweet love
    To beat all the pain

    I just missed you so much. I couldn’t live without you. I was so used to you…when you left…I felt so empty…I thought I would never get to see you again…but then…I was wrong.

    It was a dark cold night…I just came from the bar where I drink away all my pain…then I saw you…sitting on a bench in the park…you were 8 meters away from me…but I could here you crying….as if…something really bad happened.

    I just don't know what to do with myself
    I just don't know what to do with myself
    Baby, if your new love ever turns you down
    Come back, I will be around
    Just waiting for you
    I don't know what else to do

    I moved closer and I spoke…

    “Ae?” your eyes were so red…and you were awfully pale “What’s wrong?”
    You stiffened up…and your hands shook…then your sobbing got louder. You murmured something…but I couldn’t hear it…I sat beside you and started patting your back whispering “It’s gonna be okay…” over and over again…I attempted to ask you about it more…

    “Was it Bee?” at first I thought you’d want to hit me when I asked that…but instead you nodded slowly…and cried on my shoulder.

    Like a summer rose
    It needs the sun and rain
    Oh, I need your sweet love
    To beat all the pain

    “It’s gonna be okay….don’t worry…don’t cry…it’s his fault not yours.” After a few more minutes…you gained you composure.

    “I’m sorry, Es. You were right the whole time.”
    “What do you mean…?”
    “He was just using me…” your voice trailed off…he’s hurt you a lot hasn’t he?
    “Ae…look at me…” you looked up…and I saw the glint in your eye…the same one you had when you left me…“Don’t cry, Ae. It’s not your fault he did that…it’s his. You didn’t know that he was planning to do that…you were clueless…it’s his fault. Don’t blame yourself…he just doesn’t know how to treat you properly.” And for the first time in….one month…you smiled at me.

    I don't know just what to do with myself
    I don't know just what to do with myself
    Baby, if your new love ever turns you down
    Come on back, I will be around
    Just waiting for you
    I don't know what else to do, no, no, no
    I don't know what else to do
    I'm still so crazy for you, no, no, no, no
    I don't know what else to do, no, no, no
    I'm still so crazy for you

    You smiled and hugged me…but there was this look on your face that bothered me…

    “What’s wrong?”
    “How can you forgive? I left you for him and…you still…”
    “No one said I moved on. I still love you…and I never will stop.”
    “I’m sorry…I left…”
    “I know you are…the glint in your eyes justifies that.”