• My body was there, but my mind wasn't. I was so deep in thought that i didn't even notice that the seat besides me had emptied again and again 5 times in the last hour. I was thinking about life, how it changes. I didn't think it would go so fast. I feel like it was just yesterday that i was 10 years old, walking down the street to the market to buy the stuff my mom told me to. But that was, obviously, a long time ago. Whoa. I wasted almost ten years of my life wondering what i was going to be, and the rest of my life working in something i was good at, but it wasn't what i wanted to do. My life has been overcautious and I've lived in a bubble. I always thought that to prolong my life, i should be more careful, but if you have a good look at it, the only way you can be safe, is trusting that God is always there besides you and that everything is going to be alright. I always said to myself, be careful, you don"t want to die before you really have to, ad now I'm dying of leukemia at 73 and there's nothing I can do about it. I just wish I could go back in time and re-live my life,fix my mistakes, but then again, maybe i wouldn't have met my husband, neither would i have a wonderful and successful daughter. Maybe I would have died earlier. I guess in life we got to b thankful for the life we got, and we have to live normally. Go with the flow, you know. Everything in my mind has come to a blur. A black and white blur. And i feel like everything in my body, starting from my feet, is numb. Now my knees, my hips, arms, hands, fingers and now my head. I realized then, that i was dying, agonizing, but i wasn't dead yet, because i was still breathing, but my body wasn't alive. I was part dead, and part alive. In that precise moment i thought, God, just take me now, stop this agony and just take me, i want to end my life and be done with this. It was then, that i realized, i was dead.