• She struggled against my arms trying to get free. She pushed and pulled and wiggled against me, but I held on tightly. My eyes were soaked with salty tears. I sobbed, then immediately calmed myself. There was no time for that now! I couldn't help it and started to cry harder. I was trying desperately to stifle my ever-flowing tears. The soft tissue my mom had handed my stayed pressed against my sniffling nose. The silent door at the end of the room eased gently open and I looked up. It was time to let go.
    The vet came into the room as quietly as he had opened the door. He looked sad too, the corners of his mouth turned down as he watched me sob. For the first time I thought about how awful it would be to have to do this sort of job, even if it were only every once in awhile. I was sure that I wasn't making it any easier for either of us by crying like I was. I tried again to stifle my tears, and this time I had more success. He explained how the procedure would work and left us to say some of our final goodbyes.
    I calmed myself down and looked at my mom. She sat next to me also with tears glistening in her eyes. A lot of kids claim, and adults too, that they never see their parents cry, but I've seen my mom cry over things that are depressing, like death, like today. Neither of us wanted to be doing this, not to Nibbles. She had never done anything to deserve this! We didn't really have any options though. This was the best solution. The only one that didn't cause her pain. We waited.
    Nibbles calmed down a bit as we waited, and I was able to enjoy my last few moments with her, crazy as it may seem. She was being nice, by her standards anyway. She really didn't like to snuggle. I started tearing up again as the vet walked in with his assistant.
    Now I was bawling. I couldn't control it. Every face in the room looked even sadder as her last minute was fast approaching. He took her away from me and laid her down on a big metal table. "She won't feel a thing," he promised. His assistant found a vein for him. Then he gave her the shot that would end her life. I held my breath as he listened to her heart. "She's gone."
    That night I had an extremely hard time sleeping. The blankets were too hot, the air was too cold, and the silence was too loud. Grief washed over me, making me cry harder than I did at the veterinarian office. I wished I could escape my thoughts, because they kept going back to when my friend went limp, or saying my last goodbye while throwing dirt at her box, but I also wanted to think about her. Didn't she deserve to stay in our memories? At times I would drift to sleep, only to wake up again crying. One time I woke up and could have sworn that Nibbles was at the end of my bed, where she sometimes slept with me. She wasn't.