Hero's Awakening

• Artist: METRO SKiiES
• Description: I began this poem with the Warriors series in mind, imagining the brief calm in Rising Storm when everyone thought that the evil one was gone. As I came to the end of the poem, the heroic Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess came to mind, and I began writing about his deeds.
  I hope those who read this will have an open mind about my format. Freestyle poetry is quickly becoming the rule, not the exception. I hope that you can respect my rhyme scheme as I respect your jumbled lines.
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: hero awakening journey darkness evil

Hero's Awakening

Peace reigns
From the mountains, frigid white
To the seashore, warm and wet
Now it seems that all is right
But something's bound to happen yet

Evil sleeps
Never truly gone, it waits
Waiting for a chance to strike
Ready to spread fear and hate
Until a hero comes to rise

Hero wakes
Knowing that the task ahead
Is formidable, once more
He must defeat what evil led
To save his home from shadow's lore

Comments

[Commonsense of BlindEyes]

I like it. 5/5

[ArcVoyageur]

Pretty decent, there are a lot of stories about heroes conquering evil, so (forgive me for saying this) the idea is a little decent. But it's clear and organized. And I agree, "lore" is like the documents of mythology and fictional epics, like Homer, Virgil, Ovid, etc.

[Diosa de Armarrio]

Very good.
When I'm reading poetry, I try not to get "business-like" about it... I see poetry as an art form, and I don't think you necessarily need "meters" and "rules of grammar"; at least, not when it's freestyle. I don't think it was confusing at all! This is definitely a fantastic poem. I loved it. 5/5

[Ame_To_Ame]

The idea's good, but I can't say it's anything special. There are two parts I have to comment on though, in the last verse. The first is that, unless 'hero' is being used as a name, 'a' or a similar word should be before it. Maybe you have a meter, and adding a word would mess it up, but you break the rules of grammar otherwise. The last line is also confusing. I don't think 'lore' is the word you want. All in all, 4/5

[Sings4GodsGlory]

haha my comment was too long...here's the end of it:

With freestyle you can truly express yourself through writing.

Keep writing! Take care and God bless!
~Hillary

oh and I see I made a spelling error in the first comment as well, sorry about that, fac should be fact. smile

[Sings4GodsGlory]

I thought it was really good! I hadn't even read the description and just read the poem and I thought "Hey, this reminds me of Link!" So VERY good job with that! smile I really enjoyed your use of descriptive words in the first few lines where you describe the mountains and the sea shore.
And yes freestyle has become the rule instead of the exception! In fact sometimes freestyle is more interesting to read than something that is very strictly kept in a box. With freestyle you can truly express

[Tsuki Kurai]

Oooh, this is excellent! You commented on one of my poems a while back, and i thought I'd take a look at yours!
I like the style, with the first lines of each verse like they are.
And i commend you for your rhyme scheme! =3