Light up the Darkness

• Artist: angelicious0001
• Description: this is my second poem that i have ever made.
  i really like it has so much meaning to me.
  
  PLZ comment ^^
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: light

There is no reason,

Don't lock yourself in.

You will change like the seasons,

Let the blossoming begin.



You may not know it but that's how it goes.

Don't hide in the park,

Where nobody knows.

Take a candle and light up the dark.



You will see from now on,

You will see now.

Your friends like you the way you are,

open up and allow.



Oh! There is nothing you can't handle.

Feel free to make your mark.

Take that candle,

Light up the dark.

Comments

[Da PsYcHo PaNdA]

nice!10/5

[almax22]

interesting
makes a lot of sense
don't give up keep doing what u do

[angelicious0001]

the first lines
mean that a lot of people usually box themselves in when they feel depressed
and they arent really sure how to release it
and if u actually look at what your depressed about
its sometimes just plain stupid but others it is bad
but must you really lock yourself up?
no not really
but that depends on your life

[Toriki-chi]

Very impressive poem. Although the first two lines are a bit off. When you said "There are no reason, don't lock yourself in". Does that mean you should lock yourself in since you don't have a reason to NOT to?

[angelicious0001]

thank you for your comments ^.^
i dont mind the criticism
there IS room for improvement but after readin it so many times its hard to see the problems
thank you ^.^

[juntomregal55400bjk]

i know that seems like a lot of criticism but it's only 3 things. you did a really good job. i give you a four. please continue writing poetry and other things. you have the beginnings of what could someday be a true talent. kindle the fire! biggrin again. spectacular job!

[juntomregal55400bjk]

my sole criticisms are: 1st stanza, 1st line: there are no reasons. (so it would rhyme better) last stanza 3rd line: put something before take that candle, like: don't be shy, take that candle. or: find a match, take that candle. last stanza last line: put something before light up the dark maybe something like: be brave light up the dark. or: and light up the dark.
i know that seems like a lot of criticism but it's only 3 things. you did a really good job. i give you a four. please continue wri