Questions

• Artist: x Trigg x
• Description: if i had someone this is what i would ask and say.....but it is -unfortunatly- just a poem for now
• Date: 10/29/2008
• Tags: questions

you give me a piece of paper
ill give you a love note.

you give me a guitar
ill play you a song.

they give you a bruise
ill give them a month in a hospital!

they give you a hard time
ill give them a death note!

i give you my heart
what would you do?

i give you my life
what would you feel?

i give you me soul
what would you say?

the doctor gives you a ring when i die for you
what would you say?

Comments

[2pound]

the sentiment is there, but the execution aint the best. can you be at least witty? like "i'll become a heart surgeon to give you my hear" something a lot wittier than that. if you can't, then give us imagery; compare, contrast, and invoke more from a piece of paper, a guitar, a bruise, and a ring; make them mean something. and the questions are terrible; they're not rhetorical, they have no insight, and they're unnecessary. overall 2/5

[allisun1]

How sweet I give it 5 stars!!!