awake

• Artist: applesauce262
• Description: im always so absorbed in my thoughts for her,of her,and always about her.it keeps me awake at night wondering what she will wear,say,and do tomarrow.everything about her is perfect,and i dont know anyone who would say different.
• Date: 12/01/2008
• Tags: awake love zero alone thought

lying down awake
focusing on you
weather i see you tomorrow
who knew what love would do

cant fall asleep
excited by the thought
of seeing your gazing eyes
after i wake up

still hopeful
shes so alluring
cant fall asleep
always just stirring

unable to drift away
awake i will stay
dreaming of the next day
where i wish we could stay

i walk in the hallway
not saying a word
wanting to see her
the moment i turn

by the locker
in my group
noticing the lacking,
moment of truth
where my hopes have been stacking

frantically looking
hoping shes late
i notice that someone
has taken her place

i realize shes gone
at least for the day
so the thought comes early
for the next day

still hopeful
shes so alluring
cant fall asleep
always just stirring

lying awake
wanting to say
the next time i see you
will be my perfect day

Comments

[nighthammer17]

I really like this poem. It is still a love poem, but you are starting to show the obsession. I love to see the juggling between love and borderline psychotic passion.
The imagery and tone are very well done, but I would like to see a little more variety in your word choice. You have the process for great poems, a little more sophisticated word choice will raise your writing substancially.

[ree-ree_bear]

Awe Kelley this poem is personally i think your best you've open up to the readers and you show them your true feelings inside for this girl. Hopefully at the end i wish you and her would be together i believe you and her will(:
keep your poems up number one fan!
Kyree(: