• I haven't seen this,
    No one would have,
    Damn it,
    Naive,
    I'm so stupid,
    i haven't seen truth until now.
    Haven't realized my foolish emotions,
    now...
    I have to make amends,
    i don't know how much blood may fall,
    and all shall fall on me,
    My hands wont be clean.
    Should i wait for some,
    let maturity grow,
    or will that make it worse,
    and make my life lose its chance?

    I don't have who i had before,
    wondering on doubts,
    no i cant.
    I know sometimes jealousy may do things,
    but it cant be true,
    it cant be,
    i cant be false,
    why...
    on a night that is supposed to be so wondrous,
    be so painful,
    why must i lose so much,
    when finally,
    i have hope?

    I cant take this,
    i cant doubt anymore,
    i don't want anymore of this pain,
    i even wonder,
    if maybe bloodshed is going to happen,
    I cnat give up,
    they don't see,
    that i've made choices at last,
    i have stopped hanging at the line,
    and crossed,
    god I cant be wrong,
    I cant,
    because if i am,
    nothing will show how truly screwed,
    how truly damaged,
    Life will be.

    And if I am wrong,
    i will deserve it fully and more....

    I keep pressing on and on,
    and yet this is only the first hour,
    and so much pain,
    only the joy of the path i started,
    keeps me going,
    but now,
    i doubt,
    if honesty was smart,
    if i shouldn't have sneaked about it,
    i have to keep moving,
    i have to keep faith,
    and i have to learn,
    what it means,
    to pay for ignorance of the heart.

    I am on a long road,
    not because its easy to get lost,
    but because so much is against it,
    so much effort is put into it,
    and so many things are going to happen.
    It is my only hope now,
    and i will learn what it is i have done,
    and will I be able to avoid causing a death out of my ignorance of myself,
    will they die because i didn't know my true feelings,
    gave them what was true love,
    even with out the reality behind it,
    or will i be able to keep them alive,
    showing them my debt,
    and at least keeping them alive,
    it is better that way and hated,
    than with their blood on my hands,
    to those who are among you and read this,
    I can only apologize,
    for my love is of not truth,
    but of closeness,
    not souls,
    and i dint know,
    While no excuse,
    at least i can tell you now,
    and not when it hurts worse...
    or should i wait to have said it?
    Very few can read this and not worry,
    my road is long,
    and its aptly so,
    as i must atone for the sins of ignorance,
    I must find who is truly loved....
    and i can tell you now.....if it isn't you,
    and i hate so much,
    that i will lose more than friends,
    but close lovers,
    and i will be the one fairly punished,
    should lives be taken as a result....

    I have a long road,
    and it is only...
    the second hour.....