Valentine's Day

• Artist: Poetic Progression
• Description: Valentine's Day is in two weeks, and I'm trying to write a love poem. Only problem is, I not so great at those. If you guys have any tips for me in this genre of poetry, that would be awesome.
• Date: 02/01/2009
• Tags: valentines

So many things I want to say to you, I don't know where to start
I'll say it all through rhymes written by my mastery of this art.
'Cause if I told you face-to-face I might trip over endless words and emotions
Making me look like a madman with unknown motives and notions.

But if there was a reason I was crazy, it's most likely you.
Don't feel bad, don't be sad, there was nothing you could do.
But you can relax, I'm not so crazy that I'd treat life like some game.
On the contrary, once you know me, you'd find I'm quite sane.

We've all grown up listening to many legends and tales
Of genies from magic lamps and pirates stealing the world by sails.
Of many a knight in shining armor who'd rather die than he fails
Of ruthless kings of faraway lands whom a relunctant princess hails.

Your wish wouldn't be my command, it would be my life.
If I was a pirate you'd be the greatest treasure seen by my one eye.
I'd slay twenty dragons for you if you could live for one more sec.,
And a king ever imprisoned you, I would break his God-forsaken neck.

Scratch that, I WILL rather than would,
I SHALL rather than should, and CAN rather than could.
Anything and everything to see you laugh, see you smile,
To see your eyes shine, it's always worth my while.

If I could be the one who cheers you up when you're sad,
To crack you up like you're watching Comedy Central when you are glad,
To fill the heart's of others with cold if they dare make you mad,
Perhaps maybe then life wouldn't be so bad.

I don't mind if you find someone else, as long as you are happy
As long as you are smiling, I won't ever feel that crappy.
But if he makes you cry, hurts you inside, tries every trick to make you sick.
Call the cops, but remember, I will shatter his bones with a twenty pound brick.

Another Valentine's day has come and gone,
But my love for you has long since begun,
I could do no more than wish you were mine,
And ask if you could be my Valentine..

Comments

[Til Death and Beyond]

awww i love it!! biggrin

[290DarkStars]

i LOVE your poem! the only advise i have for you is to seperate the rhyming lines into seperate stanzas. instead of mixing thm up into couplets.... you dont hafta follow it though... cuz i love the poem too much to give it any lower than 5/5... dont be dicscouraged! Keep writing! mrgreen

[xDizcord_Lizx]

that was absolutely amazing!!
but, to the guy that commented before meh, u can write as many lines as u want, as long as you want. there's no rule saying there's a limit to how much u can write, it's all in your head and needs to be written out before forgotten, whether it be a single phrase or ten million lines.
this was an amazing poem, so no, i don't think u suck at love poems, any girl would be lucky to get a poem like this on valentine's day

[KenzKazuya]

I give you a small comment. Very easy comment.
Shorten your lines, bring in the meaning.
But if this was a set of lyrics. Hmm....
Here's a tip. Try singing or reading the poem.
That should give you a clue on if your poem/lyrics are perfect. =)
I won't rate this because I admire your courage to write but would like to see something shorter as a poem.
If a set of lyrics, it should have it's verses, bridges and choruses.