self-explanatory

• Artist: humpty_bumpty
• Description: depression it makes us do things, it makes us spill out our guts. Just pay attention is all i ask
• Date: 04/10/2009
• Tags: selfexplanatory

Tar boils through vains
replacing blood
heart beats
hearts explode
do you really want to know my problems
can you really handle them
i puke up black
no blood is left
i am one problem
that has no solution
do not try to understand me
do not try to console me with false pretenses
just realize i have bigger problems than you
dont try to help me
cause all it will do
is drive me farther away
send me sprawling for someone to not understand
cause nobody understands
ever
no matter what they say
they cannot understand the pain a person feels
because they have not walked the life of that person
they have not understood every little aspect of their life
so no one undertands
the only one who understands is who it is happening to
and they cant fix themselves

Comments

[humpty_bumpty]

thanks for the input, i haven't been using firefox so i don't usually get the word check, i am not a naturally bad speller i just do make mistakes so please be leanient just a little but thank you for the input...not many people bother to input on my stuff even when i ask

[bloodygirl17]

Again, grammar and puntuation really needs some work.
My advice is to proof-read them before submitting it. Never spell because as "cause" because cause has a different pronunciation (ie: Kawz)
Capalize every line that is "entered" into a new one, whether the former line has no punctuation at the end or not.

[humpty_bumpty]

thank you. i need the criticism so i can get better at this. I am really rusty at poems. Not so much at stories he he he.. my other ones i've posted on here kinda suck..

[iloveblanketyblank]

I like this because I can relate to it, which isn't a good thing since it's talking about depression. But you're right - the only person who can know how you feel is you, unless they've been in your shoes.

Good job smile You tell it like it is!!