Broken Hearts

• Artist: Unused_Mul3
• Description: I wrote this for a "About Me" project for class a few months back. Otherwise just another random writing moment thing.
• Date: 06/20/2009
• Tags: broken hearts

When I reach out
To someone for company
They push me aside
My heart brakes once

When love is in my grasp
But when I try to share
My heart breaks twice

When I cry for help
They ignore my pleas
My heart breaks thrice

Now my heart breaks
A hundred times fold
My heart breaks more
When I think about those breaks

Now my life has ended
Just so I can take my broken heart
To a place where it will no longer break

Now I look down
To see those I knew
I can see regret

Not taking my hand
Not sharing my love
Not helping me up

Comments

[cinderheIIa]

You have the words and emotion part down, but you need to work on punctuation, format, and capitalization, if this was for school, as you say, then your teacher should have commented on this. To fix this, you must keep writing and you should because you are good, and also read other poems and notice how they write and use grammar. Through this you will get better. KEEP WRITING!

[Jeyrin]

that's really good. It's hard to find any decent work here on gaia, and this is one of the few good things left. 5/5 Rate back?

[x-ImTheeSex-x]

this is so creative and i think its beautiful. im a sucker for good poems and i love this one. its so ...inspirational. i love it. and its got a sad side. your a real artist with words ^___^

[Mergoat]

wow, thats really good^^ sad, but good