• Once Upon a Time

    Once upon a time
    I saw a light
    No it was not God
    Calling from above
    No it was not the Sun
    Glaring from the sky
    No it wasn’t a light
    Hanging up above

    It was a flashlight
    Burning into my eye
    Seeing if my pupils would dilate
    They did not
    My eyelid had been peeled back
    And I was lying on the ground

    But how I wish it was God
    Calling me home
    To take away the throbbing in my head
    And the lack of it in my chest

    I smelled of smoke
    And many other things
    That shouldn’t be in your body
    Stains of vomit
    And of Gin
    Blemished my shirt and pants
    Like the violations against me
    Marked my skin and mind

    Oh how I wanted to run
    Hide so far away
    Where I wouldn’t remember the night
    When God almost did
    Take me Home

    ***

    I had been drinking that night
    So much of it filled me
    Made my eyes blur
    And my words slur

    I tumbled to a fro
    With ruddy laughs
    Echoing in my ears
    I laughed along too
    For a reason unknown to me
    My clothes were torn
    And so was my mind
    But I could not bare
    To turn home now

    I wanted to go
    Even though I would be scolded
    I didn’t care
    Not one bit
    But I didn’t want to receive the
    Repercussions
    But how I wished I had known
    That the ones tonight
    Would be worse
    Than any I could have ever imagined

    A smoke here
    A touch there
    An occasional sniff
    And the frequent fist
    Loud music blared
    It was so loud!
    It must have blinded my mind

    I could not feel them touch me
    Because I knew
    I couldn’t be touched
    Even with their hands on me
    Nope
    Not one thing.

    I could not feel my body dying
    Because I knew
    I couldn’t die
    Even with deaths hand on me
    Nope
    Not one thing

    A clout on the head
    A hand on my cheek
    Nothing at all.
    When I said no
    It didn’t matter
    When I wanted no more
    It didn’t matter

    Soon my body failed
    It gave up way before I wanted to
    The lights and the sights
    Were too much for it
    And I fell to the ground

    I felt myself heave
    My stomach churn
    And my body got rid of
    What it didn’t want around

    I lurched again
    The foul smell now on my clothes
    And in my hair
    How I wanted to run

    Then I drifted.
    It was so dark
    So quiet
    It was a wonderful peace
    My head did not hurt
    And my body did not ache
    My nose did not burn
    And my mind did not spin

    I wanted to stay here forever

    But like a hand pulling me up by my neck
    Like so many times before
    I was ripped from the ground of
    Such bliss
    And forced into the waking world

    A light! I saw a light!
    What an accursed light
    It stung my eye

    But the voice.
    It was a kind voice
    It wafted over me
    And made me want to curl up in it
    To never see another thing

    It was her!
    My darling friend!
    She had come for me!
    She had come to take me home!

    Then strong arms pulled me from the
    Hard
    Unforgiving
    Ground.

    The warmth filled me to the brim
    And his wondrous words
    Melted on me
    Another comrade of mine
    He had come for me!

    I buried my face in his chest
    And he did not flinch away
    Even though
    Blood
    Vomit
    Tears
    Alcohol
    Were smeared across my face.

    He only ran his hand over my dingy hair
    And she kissed my disgusting face.

    They took me away
    Spirited me from the hell I purposely came to
    They told my parents
    Parents of only a child
    That I was staying at their house
    And that was were I had been
    The entire time

    They nursed me back to health
    And they held me when I cried
    When I wanted to give up
    They listened to me
    When I curse their name
    The listened to me
    When I needed to talk
    They listened to me

    I told them
    I was done
    I had been raped
    Yes I said it
    Raped
    A child grew in me
    And was lost in me
    In less than three months
    To a enraged fist

    I had drank so much
    It would have killed a man twice my size
    I had forced things up my nose and vein
    That shouldn’t have been there
    And I swallowed so many pills
    I could have run my own drug store

    I had been beaten
    I had been used
    I had been sick
    And I had been miserable

    I had seen death
    I had seen loss
    And
    I had seen enough

    The stole me away
    Away from my shadows
    They took me to my meetings
    And kept the hauntings at bay
    They held me down
    When I tried to tried to give up
    And revert to my old ways

    They held me when I shook
    They held me when I shivered
    They held back my hair
    When my stomach tried to empty itself of nothing
    They comforted me when I cried
    And when I scream
    They were there
    Even minute of their day

    I didn’t ask them to do this
    No
    I would have never done that
    They didn’t it all on their own
    They spent every moment they would with me
    And never let me feel alone
    They did it because they loved me
    And wanted to be there for me
    Even though I did nothing for them as of late
    They still cared

    Now I’m okay
    It was hard
    And it took years
    But…
    I live my life
    Without my demons
    And without their ways

    I excel at school like I never have before
    I excel at life like I never have before
    And I can truly say to my mom
    When she asks me how my day was
    That it was a good day

    I can like never before
    Love
    Laugh
    Live
    Learn

    And because of those angels from heaven
    Those two I call my friends
    I can now tell this story with a
    Once Upon A Time