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Ignorance and Burger King,
Flashy cars and diamond rings.
Disgusted trash of filth and waste,
What have we done to this place?
The hopes and dreams are gone and dead,
Forever lost beneath the bed.
- by dutchbrosdude |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/26/2009 |
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- Title: America
- Artist: dutchbrosdude
- Description: I know its short, but I would appreciate any advice and tips you have to improve it. Thanks =)
- Date: 09/26/2009
- Tags: america broken depressing sorrow eomtional
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Cowgirl Lynsy - 10/06/2009
- There is something off about the last line. I'm not sure how it could be improved, but it seems out of place...
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- dutchbrosdude - 09/27/2009
- Thanks for the advice, and I fixed the typo. ^_^
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- Eraldaine - 09/27/2009
- The only thing I would say is fix up your spelling a little bit; its "waste" not "waist". But it has a great rhythm and I was practically humming the poem as I read.
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