• Hi.
    I don't know how
    To start these things.
    Partly because this
    Is my first time.

    I'm new to this,
    You know?
    A virgin,
    You might say.
    To talks like this.
    Heart to heart,
    Raw.

    First, I'd like
    To point out just how
    Kind.
    Sweet.
    Adorable.
    Wonderful.
    You are to me.
    I think you are
    Incredible
    and I want you to know that
    More than anything else.

    I don't like
    To say this.
    I don't think that I've ever
    Said this.
    But here it goes.
    I love you.
    Not that hard typing the words
    But saying them
    Will be the hardest thing
    I've ever done.
    But a fact is a fact.
    And you know how I am about
    Telling you the truth.

    So,
    Now that's over with.
    Sappy time's over, sweetie.
    I do love you,
    But I also hate you.
    Surprise, surprise.

    Bet you couldn't tell.
    I'm good at it,
    Hiding my emotions
    Cleverly behind a well
    Thought out joke
    Or behind my simple
    Silence.
    But I do.

    This past year has been
    The best of my life.
    The worst of my life.
    You've made me so
    Happy and exuberant.
    You've made me so
    Angry and sad.
    You pretty much control
    My feelings.
    I think you own stock,
    Actually.

    That's how powerful you are
    To me.
    That's how much I need you
    To lie to me.
    I know, I know.
    You should always just
    Tell the truth.
    Makes it easier in the end.
    But the truth of the matter is
    That that only happens
    When the truth comes first.

    I wasn't really thinking
    During that call of ours.
    Call me love-drunk.
    I probably was.
    So when I said that thing
    And you said that other
    Thing
    I wasn't thinking.
    Then again,
    Do I ever actually think?

    Okay, okay,
    I get it.
    You were scared
    To tell me at first
    But you did
    And now you think
    Because I am so completely
    Ready for it
    You drop the bomb.
    "You won't tell anyone,
    Right?"
    "...I think that's a given."

    ...I think those are words
    I'd give to take back.
    I'm a terrible secret keeper.
    I'm a gossiper at heart.
    It's a girl thing
    Or maybe it's just me.
    I can't ever tell the difference
    These days.
    I... I...
    Dammit, why'd you tell me
    To keep it a secret?

    I wish
    You'd never said such a thing.
    I wish
    You could take what you said back.
    I wish
    You could make me forget.
    I wish
    You could go Haitian on me.
    Silly me.
    You were never a hero.
    Were you?

    And please, please
    I'm begging you.
    Don't talk to me about that person.
    I'm glad you like them
    I'm glad you think that I'm strong enough
    To handle this.
    But I can't
    I can't can't can't
    Can't can't can't can't.

    Is this really what love
    Feels like?
    If it is,
    Then love is a terrible, terrible
    Curse that I don't wish
    Upon anyone.
    The twisty heart thing
    Just doesn't feel that good.

    Now would probably be the time
    Where I turn into Scarlet Black
    Superhero who always has
    A funny witticism.
    But the truth is
    And it's really, really funny,
    I'm not Scarlet Black.
    I'm Haley.
    This is me,
    Raw and exposed.
    Myself.

    I should probably stay away
    From you for a while.
    I think I'm addicted to your presence, be it
    Internet
    Life
    Phone
    Old Yearbook.
    It's gonna be hard to get you
    Out of my system.
    But I think I can.
    Choo, choo.

    And once you're gone,
    I think,
    Maybe, maybe, maybe
    When you say hi
    I won't get flutters
    When you talk about that person
    I won't get jealous
    When you ask what I think of you
    I can say with truth and shamelessness
    "You're one of the best friends
    I have ever had
    And once upon a time,
    I used to think of you as my
    One and only."