• 'Twas the night before Christmas,
    and all through the land;
    vampire boys and girls were wide awake,
    excitement in their eyes and bloodpacks in hand.

    Ivory snow was falling,
    and the night was pitch black;
    most humans had gone to sleep,
    but a few were becoming a snack.

    Through the clear evening sky,
    a thunderous sound clamored;
    one lone figure moving faster than lightning,
    toward the vampires who were all enamored.

    Vampire Santa was here!
    as the vampires gathered closer.
    he always gave awesome presents,
    never socks or a toaster!

    Bloodpacks for the girls,
    and bloodpacks for the boys;
    swords and shields,
    and long capes replaced toys.

    All the children who were nice,
    received all that they wished;
    and all the children that were naughty,
    received no such great gifts.

    Vampire Santa was asked,
    "how come you came so late?"
    to which he replied,
    "Because Wes had more time to write in 2008!"

    Santa had asked him to help out,
    he was trying very hard not to die;
    and as Gaia kept him safe,
    Vampire Santa took to the sky.

    With amazing speed he rushed.
    and gave everybody their presents;
    except for the dark elves,
    because we all know they are a menace!

    He left them their presents,
    the whole procedure he had down pat;
    but he never ate the cookies,
    because unlike Santa he wasn't fat.

    All the fledglings rejoiced,
    and showed off all their gifts;
    Vampire Santa flew off,
    dropping those damned dark elves into giant pits.

    "Merry Christmas!" he exclaimed,
    "And always be good!"
    And the vampires headed inside before dawn,
    to rest like they should.

    Vampire Santa still had one visit,
    for the workload from the North Pole;
    and unfortunately once again,
    Santa found his factory underneath a pile of coal!

    He cursed and went back,
    to make the months of repairs;
    But he'll be back for Christmas,
    so don't have any fears!

    Vampire Santa flew off,
    and as he went out of sight;
    "Merry Christmas to all,
    and to all a great bite!"