Elizabeth

• Artist: Incauta Amor
• Description: Just dug up an old break-up sonnet from about a year ago.
  
  I realize it probably isn't any good but I figured I could use some opinions on, just to test the water.
  
  Oh, and if you're wondering why this is so sappy and pathetic I wrote this after I broke up with my first girlfriend, who I fell in love with.
• Date: 05/21/2012
• Tags: elizabeth breakup sonnet regret love

What is left without the beauty of love?
What of when the light of day shifts to night?
I behold the image of the slain dove,
I foresee my future and feel true fright.
I stay alone, until the end of time.
Living in silent sorrow, to be not found,
While only expressed through this woeful rhyme,
My eyes remain fixed upon the cold ground.
I await the day of my greatest fall,
until then there is only painful dread.
I see her name upon a grand steel wall,
On these ays, I wish I were dead.
I see no sense in choosing denial,
For living now shall be my greatest trial.

Comments

[Bashand]

Not bad, not bad at all.
Some of the wording seemed a bit forced in order to rhyme and didn't really flow properly such as "I foresee my future and feel true fright." whereas others seem to flow more smoothly than silk down a woman's back.

Props for rhyming and proper use of syllables, as I said before; not bad at all.