fake faces

• Artist: amber2367
• Description: someone whos put on a fake face and keep it all in so you wont have to worry other.
• Date: 07/24/2012
• Tags: fake faces

You hold me in your arms and comfort me
But I turn away
I don’t want you to see me this way
I’ve always have put on a strong face
No one have knew
That inside sadness grew
So why is it so different now?
It starts to show on the surface
That I think that I’m worthless
Then everyone starts to bug me, asking why?
I start feeling sick
I just want to scream and kick
“Why can’t you leave me alone?”
“My depression has reached its peak!”
I don’t want you to think I’m weak!
I would rather just cry alone!
I feel like it’s never going to end
I don’t think I can last to the weekend
So I scarf down some pills
And I lay down in my bed
Soon I’ll be dead
I look to the ceiling
And close my eyes forever
And now they can push down the lever
To my casket and finally I am alone

Comments

[Be Frizzy]

You start off in an emotional place, but not emotional enough to lead to suicide. It seems lopsided in a way. I don't like the line “My depression has reached its peak!”; it's not a realistic thing to say for anyone truly depressed. Try to balance out your emotion and loosen up your rhyme scheme at the top so that it doesn't feel so forced throughout.