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I can't do anything right.
Everything I've ever done just ******** up along the way
And now I'm losing my closest friends
To someone I don't even know
I really want to die, just drop dead here & now.
No one's going to miss me
Since I keep ******** things up.
I hate myself
And everything about me.
There's nothing in my life that makes me happy to be who I am
I would trade my life for someone with cancer
Someone who is weak and dying.
Because I am.
I have nothing left.
There is no reason for me to be here on this Earth
God, strike me down for I am a lost cause.
I am someone who does deserve to live
I have nothing that will make me change my mind
My lover is so far away that there's no use trying anymore
My family doesn't even realize I exists.
My friends and annoyed by my rash actions
I don't even like myself!
I'm so stupid I ACTUALLY tried to kill myself.
I'm so ******** up that death is so close that I can taste it.
Literally! On my serpent tongue, I can taste the poison that is me
I can feel Death's cold fingers claw at my back
And now not only am I walking to the end
I'm being pushed off the edge by people I thought loved me.
How far do I have to go before I actually die??
How much torture must I endure before He sees me trying to leave?
Before I go insane and lose what I've already lost all over again?
How much can one girl take before it's too late
To try and save me?
Cause even if they knew I was dying
Would they come?
Would they attempt to save my demented soul?
Or would they continue to push me away
Like they always did?
Driving me into something that I won't be able to get out of?
Something that will kill me when I've already died.
Cause I am a lost cause.
No one wants me...
No one cares...
I could drop dead and no one would notice.
And even though, right now, I'm alive.
I'm not living.
Because I have nothing to live for.