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Breathe
So I thought I wanted you
I thought I could love you,
I thought about you
I though about us...
And then, I never wanted to see your face again.
I didn’t want you to call.
I didn’t want you to laugh at my lame jokes,
I didn’t want to worry about your feelings,
And above all else, I do not care.
You pushed me away and pulled me back for son long
that I slipped between the crack of your fingers
that held me in place.
But your grip was so tight that although you and I didn’t know it,
I faded away...
Your hold was so constricting that I couldn’t breathe, or move, or think
Or truly love you because you were choking me with your word, your looks, your actions...
I couldn’t stand to be here.
I was trapped.
You were holding my hostage even if you didn’t know it.
I hate myself because I couldn’t let go...
But then...I broke.
I broke free of your grasp
Your hold, your web, your torture.
And I couldn’t feel better. Able to breath and laugh and smile
Without worrying how you felt about me...
The way I look, the way I talk, even the way I smell...
Then, if I wasn’t good enough for you I would panic and choke.
Now, if I’m not good enough for you I can laugh it off because it doesn’t really matter.
It never did really...not to you, anyway...
And so.
In the fewest words
And the very simplest of terms,
I do not love you anymore...