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Well s**t. There she goes again. Launching off at me. Again. Like normal, she's stressed about life. Shouldnt have had kids when you cant even control yourself. But then again, what do I know? Silly kid who does everything wrong. Not so great grades. Spends to much time with my friends. Wants to much. Or do I? Do I? Well I think your wrong.
I spend my days, living your life. My son, not yours. My house, not yours. My demons. Not yours. I told myself, I learned, that I'm not allowed to look up. I look down. No one up there is goin to help me anymore, not that they ever did.My eyes are gettin sleepy, tired of
this.

But should I be this? Im still a 9th grader, still a child, if you think about it. Not that you think about it. My hands hurt. They ache. Like my heart. I smile for my friends. They dont need another lost soul. Can you save me?

But you cant. No one can. He is gone, dead really. Should I have been through that? On my first day of high school no less? I take pills you know...headache pills, one day Ill take to many. Bet youll love me then
or not. Im not acccepted at school. Im one of the freeks, I dont really care about that. But sometimes I wish they would all die. She dosnt care about me. She goes out whenever. However long. Im left. In my prison. I bet Id be ok on my own. I would like it better. Cant even get things I need. I dont know what love is. Well I know what it is, but I dont think Ive ever had it. Maybe if I commited sucide, then she would uderstand. Or not. She never will. She's to wrapped up in her own s**t.

I hate being around them. And call them "family". I wonder what I did. I dont think it matters. I hate this. All of it. Cant wait to escape. Ill never talk to them again. One day.

This wont help me.