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It was Christmas day
I opened my presents,
next to my little brother
next to my mom
next to my aunt
next to my nana
next to my grandpa

Later
after all the gifts were torn apart
I stood outside
and i remembered you

Collin...

What was it like,
for your little brother
to run into your room out of habit
and jump on you bed
expecting to meet a human body
excited eyes of a habit
for all those years
a heart ready to burst out in excitement

broken.

relization washed over him
eyes filling with tears
rivers pouring down his face
mouth parting
clenched fists
trying to crush the bed sheets
clenched fists
trying to get a grasp on where you were

his mind reeled
trying to remember
just where
you had gone

denying the truth that hit him like an icy wave
he began to beat the bed
pounding the matress
sobs racking his little frame

a worried family came storming into the room

seeing the boy, curled up into a ball on the bed that once,
belonged to you...

"Mama...Where's Collin...where is...where's my big brother...he's always here...always..."

the little brother curled into a tighter ball and stopped speaking
the mother broke down and fell to the floor
the father kneeled with her
the older brother stared blankly into space

All the while
you watched your family suffer
watched their hearts break again
over and over
the first christmas without you

did you watch me too?
do you watch
the blood spill
the hearts that died
the souls
that will never be healed?

soon enough though...
soon...
ill chase you down
or rather
ill chase you up

ill break free from the gates of Hell,
no matter the pain

ill burn down the gates of heaven
ill drag you down to your family
ill make you be with them
ill make you human again
ill bring you back to us
this
I
promise
you

Collin James Renaldo.

Forever...