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I want to live a happy fun loving life. I don't think I will live too long, and I get the feeling I won't. So I'll say I want to live life to the fullest. To fulfill all the dreams and wants I have. I know I want to be with my tenshi forever. Though things seem very very dim right now, and even tenshi wants to leave. I guess I don't blame him, I mean I haven't kept any of my promises, or done much like I said. But, I think if that incident hadn't occurred it would be different. Or if tenshi's feelings hadn't changed a bit I really would be working to keep promises. Theres another reason that inteferes with my promises and feelings to fulfill them along with my previous gaia entries. But, that is unavoidable and a fact that I'll have to face, but it hurts a lot. he does have his own life, I shouldn't be so sigh the word clingy hurts and makes me feel bad. Depressed it makes me. And, then I figured out the 2 1/2 years might/will be extended for possibly 5 years. Maybe more or less but, I know for sure at least a year or two will be added to the already almost 3 years. If I'm to take training for an animal control officer at one of the locations at National Animal Control Association. If I have to move to one of the locations I will, and stay there as long as it is needed to. If I have to go for my associates/bachelors I might have to stay behind and attend the STC, or I'll find a college in Kansas City, MO (location I picked out) If I have to work for a bachelors I've decided to finish my training there, and my associates. From there, if that is we are still together I'll live with him. Though lol, now I do remember I'm a year behind in school, so if we are still together in a relationship, I'll move in when I am of legal age and finish my senior year where he is, though I'm still pending my ideas of that, I want to finish my senior year at Nikki Rowe, get my letterman jacket there too. So could it be possible it will be an extra year?

I'm not too sure, sigh, lol you know how they say stress ages you, lol I wonder what I'll look like after a couple years. DX omagah!
lol no jk, or o . o idk....DX
Well anyways lol
~exhales/sigh~ gosh when are we ever going to be together? or is it just some delusion, it's not impossible but my is it difficult. Well I know my dream job is set, and who I want to spend my life with. And <.< if somehow we don't end up together, I'm still getting his babies. <.< and I'll be the first and I'll be sure to neuter him so no one else gets his babies. And then to be evil, if the baby is a boy I will name him Lucian Gabriel, so he can't get someone else and name his child the way he would have wanted <.< my baby tenshi, no one else can get them, (and why i would do that, just in case, he wont let me neuter him XP) Definatley steal his babies and XP ******** if he gets some other girl I'll be sure to scare that girl away so no one will want him. Rawr my tenshi, <.< despite me being sorta easy of letting you go, ha I'll still bother your life and intefere. So no one else gets you. Hm....<.< you know maybe killing you isnt so bad, cause then no one can have you. If not me, no one then...no jk jk <.< gotta keep you alive if I want to be with you forever. DX no fair, he better be mine he better. Rawr angry irritated Nicky mode, I'm very possessive and he's all mind. D:< or no one gets him if I cant. Rawr <.< no one gets him other than me.
I'm the only one that will give him kisses, and hugs and, various other things ;D, and the <.< only sexy tush he will look and smack at. Rawr uber possessive nicky rawr. Rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr. RAWR! Gosh rawr is all I can say, Rawr. Rawr I feel like biting him and let him know hes all mine. Rawr....rawr I wonder if my animal is a cat or dog/wolf I can't tell. lol I think more cat. O.o okay now my thing is just random, it starts out one way and end a another o . o off topic.

Gosh I remember last night that I was and still missing happy loving tenshi, I definably miss his voice. Going through my phone I stared at the picture he sent me. Luckily I accidentally recorded part of a phone conversation, not much said and very short. But, I love his voice and very glad I accidentally recorded that. I love my tenshi a lot, lots and lots and lots. He makes me very happy and I love the warm feeling of love he gives me in my chest when we talk. I guess I'm okay sometimes in life, some things make it miserable my friend make things fun and happy for me, and tenshi, tenshi makes me feel loved and very very happy, when he's happy and loving I'm the same way back and I love him. Plus lots more when in a very very very good mood, lol he knows what i mean when I get into a very lovable mood. lol ^.^ I give him a shower of kisses, and like a million of i love you's and hugs. lol ^.^ rawr now I'm in a very good mood, rawr lol ^.^ fosh he is missing this right now, rawr ~kisses kisses kisses kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, rawr kisses lips a lot a lot, kisses face uber lots, kisses stomach and lower, kisses there uber lots, kisses chest, kisses lots~ rawr I love you baby.